Momentum; it has to start somewhere.......

As the sun rose from the east we were greeted with a sunny, but yet another f’n windy day. This little green man has come to the conclusion that Melbourne is Australia’s version of Chicago: the windy city.

With trees once again horizontal from the bitch that is Mother Nature, the mighty AC packed their bags and headed for the leafy surrounds of Toorak to face Old Melburnians’. The last time these two teams met; OM’s were victorious (4-1), I labelled them as nice blokes, Coults popped his groin and Terry Wallace was sacked after a guest coaching spot. What exciting tales would today bring?

The first challenge was would AC be able to field a team? The net result of player apathy, late arrivals, injuries and late night loan deal negotiations resulted in AC being able fill the quota of 11 men, just!

Now every game is important, but this was one where AC needed a result in order to extricate them from the cellar (cohabitating with the gimp) and strive for a reasonable finishing position despite a disastrous season to-date.

Cresswell’s inspiring team management and position selections netted results early. AC, defending an early OM’s corner, cleared the ball out to the wee weegie Hendo, turns and burns before a flick out to the QE2 who fortunately wasn’t required to turn. Price then ran with the ball past a couple of shadows and without looking thumped the ball with the outside of his foot down the park and into the path of a rampaging Jason. The Republic of Ireland international nods the ball down then takes control, runs at, then around the keeper to slot in goal number one in his AC career; 1-0.

Watching Hendo with the ball is like watching an adult playing keepings off with a five year old. It’s funny, but slightly embarrassing for all involved. So, in what has become a well scripted move; Hendo runs at the defenders, turning them this way, then that until they are so confused that they don’t even know their own name. Next he courteously steps past them, plays a through ball to himself just to extract some fluid from the opposition and slots it past the keeper; 2-0.

Now, I still don’t quite understand this logic, but when AC get two goals to the good, they get nervous, loose at the back and are slightly manic in their panic. This is when the opposition usually takes advantage of the confusion and slots home a goal. Today was no different as a corner resulted in a header from the back post ruffling the net; 2-1.

HALF TIME

Now kicking with the wind and sports gels starting to take effect on their systems AC marched out for the second half full of confidence. The confidence may have been linked to the arrival of another player in JT, and a Referee to oversee proceedings.

Rich Owen had put his hand up to play in goal for the second half, but didn’t take much convincing to allow Steve to mind the nets for the rest of the game. Once again, Steve’s managerial wizardry would have a positive effect.

An AC corner was cleared to the top of the box; Owen, with his back to goals drags the ball into his control, before turning his loping frame and striking the ball goal wards. The keeper managed to let the ball trickle through his legs and Owen had his first goal for the season; 3-1.

AC, were now dominating proceedings; JT was flexing his muscles with his usual tackling style, Iva was been threatened by defenders with his death, and Hendo, Byrne and Price were dancing though the midfield. OM’s had mentally lost it.

The Wee Weegie was anxious to capitalise on a lacklustre OM’s, and it wasn’t long before a through ball found Hendo at speed. In typical Hendo fashion he stepped around a few and slotted Malvern’s fourth; 4-1.

OM’s regained some pride with a cracking strike from outside the box that would have left even Van Der Sarr flailing in goal; 4-2.

The boys from Malvern were now keen on destroying OM’s to reverse the ledger from the first leg. A corner would be just the tonic to put the final nail in the coffin. A beautifully placed kick, found the nimble defender, Owen streaming in at the back post. Owen, using his beer belly (pictured right) to control the ball then strikes the ball past the keeper finding the top of the net and his second goal for the game. Certainly a wise decision to leave him out of goals; 5-2.

OM’s had well and truly dropped their bundle now, and stopped running. AC continued to surge forward, but just couldn’t get a sixth. Most notable of the efforts was a thunderous strike form the corner of the box from Zoolander, which just clipped the cross bar.

Senior and respected player, JT, mentioned in the rooms after the game “that win was worth a lot today”, to which a numbers driven geek who shall remain nameless responded “yep, a lot, three points by my calculations”......smart ar**

All lovers of statistics would be very interested in a comment made by the QE2, who pointed out “We’ve lost to all the teams that we beat in the first half and beaten all the teams we lost to”. So, on that premise we should look forward to a very successful second half of the season given that we lost a lot of games in the first half.

AC Malvern 5 - 2 Old Melbournians

Hendo 2, Owen 2, Jason