The lads from AC finally picked themselves up off the canvas after a draining battle against the boys from Bayside. The game had taken its toll; in fact the season was starting to take its toll on the ageing elite. Discussion at the selection table this week would be short and sweet. “Who has two legs and a heartbeat? They’re in and do they have friends?” Coming up against the might of South Yarra this week AC had an injury list longer than Tommy Lee’s swollen appendage. Missing from the line up was; Henderson (groin), Coulter (groin), Nolan (groin), Brien (probably groin), Dennis (who on earth knows why, but we’ll say groin), Damo (hung over from Kiwi’s win over Serbia), Mota (GIANT laceration across the cranium) and who could forget Pricey who was off on a romantic smoke free weekend (so is likely to be out with next week with a groin).
The day provided a few challenges even before kick off. Arriving to mark the pitch pre-game the lads found a deficiency of paint in the cobweb riddled cupboards and with the ref threatening to call off the game, it was panic stations. Never fear though, Sparky Coulter resorted back to line marking methods from yesteryear rolling out a wheelbarrow full of chalk around the park. After hand painting the pitch Pro Hart style he looked like an Olympic gymnast with obsessive compulsive disorder (pictured). The final challenge at the Stadium of Sh*te, apart from toppling the second placed team, was South Yarra’s inability to provide an away strip causing a ridiculous kit clash.
Finally we are ready for kick off and would reputation count for anything? If so, South Yarra would waltz to a double digit win today.
What I love about good ol’ AC is their ability to lift for games like this and take it to the higher placed teams. Of course the inverse is true as the play terrible against the lower placed teams. That aside, SY kicked off proceedings with the intensely strong wind and they looked rattled against a determined AC. Now I’m not certain if it was the kit clash, or a very determined AC, but SY just couldn’t keep the ball.
AC looked poise, polished and uncharacteristically controlled over the ball. The first heart fluttering moment came in the sixth minute. A ball into the box had SY clambering to clear, but with panic evident the result was a hand ball just outside the box. Ralpha, salivating at the chance stepped up and curled the ball past the wall and out of reach of the diving keeper, finding the top right corner. Goal, 1-0 could this be an upset in the making?
Three minutes later, against the run of play, SY shimmied forward before unleashing a cracking shot at goal only to have a fully out stretched Wong push the ball over the crossbar.
What followed was a half where AC dominated possession as well as physical intimidation of the yappy SY snipers. The AC newbies; Ted, Dave and Matt all playing well and with Pete and Marty dominating the wings, and Owen and Pinkney directing defence, things were looking good for a shock result if they could hold out.
AC nearly held out, but 38 minutes in their luck ran out. A dubious handball call inside the SY box warranted the ref to blow his whistle and point to the spot. Rubbing salt into the wound the SY keeper stepped up to take the kick and duly slotted home; 1-1.
HALF TIME
The second half started with AC trying to dominate with the wind at their backs; however cracks were showing in their fitness. SY were starting to get back into the game and use the ball wisely. An arm wrestle ensued in tandem with a physical and verbal battle. AC was winning the physical and verbal, but that doesn’t affect the scoreboard, with SY managing to slot home a goal. 1-2
AC’s chance to redeem came via a free kick outside the box with Jay taking over free kick duties. The plucky Irish lad put his right Copa Mundial boot through the ball and rocketed it goal-ward. The thunderous strike smashed the crossbar and upright before heading wide. No goal and no luck.
South Yarra would pile on two more goals as the boys ran out of steam and the injury count grew further. The question wasn’t what would the result be, but who would still be standing for next week’s game?
With 90 minutes gone and five goals into the nets a deflated AC walked off only to have to listen to a less than humble SY chant their club song. An echoing sound which more at home in the terraces in London. Who on earth does that at this level? So very, very under 12’s.
Another “honourable” loss for AC and the path ahead leads to a bottom of the table clash against the fiscal elite of Old Scotch. Ac need look no further than this little peach for inspiration:
AC Malvern 1 – 4 Under 12 choir boys
Ralpha
Mannie's Man of the match: Rich Owen
WAG's Man of the match: Ted
News in brief:
The WAG’s were beside themselves with laughter this week. They now think that they have found an unbeatable candidate for the worst haircut of season 2010. South Yarra’s “Rat Boy” has taken the title with his shaved head and sh*tlocksRumour is rife of an early return for Hendy marking the bottom of the table shoot out this week as the most likely return
Useless stat:
45.5% of goals this season have come from set pieces
