The game started and this little green man has seen some things in
his time, but never have I seen a referee trying to antagonise players. Using a rock hard ball supplied by St Kevs Brazilian import, players were nearly knocked out going for headers and feet near broken when kicking. Both teams were united in a request to switch balls……3, 2, 1…..BOOM!!! The ref lost his s*** yelling at Steve calling him back to yell some more. After what seemed an eternity of stupidity the ref had handed out a couple of yellow cards and both teams stood, stunned looking for the cameras as they thought they were part of Ashton Kutcher’s Punked. It was later discovered that the refs pre-game consisted of singing the following;
Some people fink I’m bonkers,
But I just fink I’m free
Man, I’m just livin’ my life
There’s nufink crazy about me
BONKERS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci40ae8BlcE
Normal service resumed, albeit silently and a long through ball to a vacant right wing and a rampaging Zoolander utilised all his catwalk training to move in a straight line quicker and more stylishly than his opponent, then unlike the real Zoolander, managed to turn left inside, past his opponent and slide the ball across to the QE2. Pricey’s first attempt was saved, but the follow up, obviously not requiring a turn, was sweetly struck and found it’s way into the net; 1-0.
As subscribers to this service would know it’s the AC way to then let in a goal in response, and to their credit they didn’t disappoint today. The lengths AC would go to in order to keep the tradition is outstanding, slotting in the goal themselves, own goal; 1-1.
AC had SKevs covered all over the park and was only a matter of time before they turned the domination into goals. SKevs were faltering as evidenced by the next bonkers play. A soundly struck corner from Cresswell sailed into the box for a clear defensive header for SKevs; however either by luck or stupidity the ball was headed goal-ward and found the back of the net. Another own goal and 2-1 to Malvern.
It wouldn’t be an AC game if there wasn’t a Hendo piece of magic and today was no different. Hendo took a corner and delivered a shot pass to Byrne. A delicate 1-2 between the Celtic duo and the ball was back at the feet of the Glaswegian wizard. Charging at the defender, Hendo danced around him before unleashing a thunderbolt into the side net from then opposite corner of the box; 3-1.
The job looked just about done as SKevs had dropped their heads and headed for the shed for half time.
HALF TIME
With the result never really in doubt the second half was all about counting down the 45 minutes until the final whistle, hoping to get through without another card from the ref. In fact much of the half time conversation centred around how to get through the half without making eye contact with the ref.
The last significant event of the match saw the housemates worked in tandem again, this time on the left. Dennis passed the ball in the Price direction, however missed the target. The QE2 then stole the ball back before moving into the box and crossing for an incoming [insert name here]. Once again, the defender intercepted, however this time after sinking the boot in he did the impossible and curled the ball into the top right corner for another own goal; 4-1 and that’s all she wrote and this bizarre day when there were more own goals than actual intentional goals. BONKERS!!!!
In what can only be described as the two most bizarre games of the season, both resulted in three missed penalties and three own goals. That my friends is a statistical anomaly. Now, only 90 minutes remains in the 2009 season and only Sandringham stand in the way of AC finishing as high as fourth. Good luck boys!
AC Malvern 4 - 1 SKevs
2 Own goal, Price, Hendo
