BREAKING NEWS: It's official

The NOT SO lucky Irish

On the eve of the festival of the boot in Sowf Affreeca, Coach Norf Lundon was given the call up to be team Enger-land’s assistant to the assistant of the assistant coach. So, with a blink of an eye CNL sobered up, packed his bags and bought a ticket on the first available Drunk Atlantic Airlines flight out of here. All ships need a leader, but with Coach Norf Lundan and Captain Cresswell away, it was left to the Not So Special One, “Rafa” Dennis to steer the HMAS AC Malvern.

Arriving what would be ordinarily perceived as early, the lads from AC found long time rivals, Old Melbournian’s kitted and running drills. This was a seriously focused and well drilled team fighting for an advantage and some breathing space up at the pointy end of the table. AC on the other hand was happy with mid table mediocrity given that they are the only team in the league not to train (unless you call Friday night sessions on the tiles training).

Kick off at the Stadium of Shite was followed by an intense and ferocious resolve from the boys of AC. Despite the difference in ladder positions AC were certainly on top of this game.

AC’s first chance came seven minutes in with a Hendy corner finding the head of “long pants” Winton at the back post whose header sailed agonisingly close. Only seven minutes later Hendy was involved again, this time a free kick from outside the box was curling in, only to have the keeper push the ball over the bar. The Wee Weegie had returned to form and would surely sink one today.

The lads from Malvern continued to dominate the affluent and educated lads from Old Melbourne without result. This is becoming a sorry tale of season 2010 for AC; playing well and sometimes dominating, but not getting the results required.

Three minutes left in the first half and against the tide, OM’s broke down the left wing to slot home a goal that would surely mentally destroy AC. Choosing not to drop their bundle, AC lifted further and the pressure and passion resulted in them winning a free kick outside the box. This time Hendy struck the ball, curled around the wall and found the back of the net; 1-1.

HALF TIME

Buoyed by the first half efforts and half time pats on the back from all an sundry, AC ran back on the pitch in front of what now had become a huge crowd.

George Best look-a-like, Engel was showing his class turning inside out the fitter and younger OM’s players, bedazzling them with his foot skills. AC continued to control the midfield with Jay, Dunc and Pete using the ball well, feeding Hendy and Price with opportunities to score. The best of the opportunities came just after the hour with a header from Rich Owen requiring a great save from the OM’s keeper.

OM’s full preseason and twice weekly training was starting to show its value. AC, without a preseason and any form of training (ever) were losing control of the midfield forcing a stellar effort from the back four. OM’s fitness showed and they kept running, and kept coming. A resilient defence combined with some cracking saves from Wong was all that was keeping Malvern on level terms.

The arm wrestle continued until the 80th minute when a ball from long pants Winton was pushed out to the left to a tiring Hendy. Hendy ran with it until within range and pulled the trigger, finding the back of the net for his second brace in as many weeks; 2-1. “I had to shoot, I canny run anymore” was the breathless statement from Glasgow’s wee lad.

In unfamiliar territory, AC fought tooth and nail to hold onto the surprise lead. With only one substitute and a building list of injuries, a special effort was required. Three minutes to go Ren put his body on the line, taking one for the team. When Ren eventually stood up after wasting precious time there was more claret flowing from his noggin than at a Spanish Fiesta. Fortunately for Ren we had Nurse Emma on the sidelines to assess the damage. The result was six stiches and scar for life which all unfolded in front of his wife and daughter.

Time was running out and AC looked to finally get reward from all their efforts this season. Surprisingly with the amount of Irish in this team you think luck would be on AC’s side, but alas it’s not. A Fergie time floating header found the back of the net with only 27 seconds left on the clock. OM’s had found the equaliser and AC was devastated.


The match finished 2-2 and AC certainly deserved a win, but that’s football and that’s why we love it.


AC Malvern 2 – 2 OM’s

Henderson 2

Mannie's man of the match: Colin Brien and Rich Wong (TIED)
WAG's man of the Match: Rich Owen

News in brief:

- Pricey has been linked with a sponsorship deal with Toblerone. Company spokesman saying “It’s the perfect fit, he runs around with Toblerone shaped boots in front of goal.”