STRIKE; Victory is mine!

The Writes Guild of America paved the way for writers around the world. Their actions, via the strike of 2007-08 lasting 100 days, made waves in Hollywood and brought about significant changes throughout the industry. The strike resulted in fairer payments for all writers, ultimately sharing in a great piece of the lucrative entertainment industry pie.

Roll forward to June-July 2009 and the Terrible Blog Writers Association (TBWA) decided to take similar actions; the premise being a reduction in strict spelling and grammar standards imposed on blogs world wide. On the 19th July 2009 agreement was reached and the lofty standards were removed and are now only imposed on real writers. This is truly a significant day for bloggers out there who dribbles endless diatribes of useless information on; life, love, hobbies and in this case sporting accomplishments of random low level teams.

Anyway, with spelling and grammar freedom I will dive into a summary of the match between the once great AC Malvern and the young, skilled and athletic Monash Uni students. The last game between the mismatched duo saw Monash Uni outrun and outplay AC to the tune of 2-1.
Playing the 400th home game for the season AC strode onto the now familiar Central Park surface ready to start the game; however not before abusing a local for allowing his dog to defecate on the hallowed turf.

We weren’t long into the game when you could sense something special was about to unfold. Despite AC missing their key striker Hendo and having various players in goal who were unfamiliar with the concept of shot stopping, AC looked finely tuned. Passes were connecting and lack of speed doesn’t matter when you control the ball.

An early foray forward Steve slides in a lovely cross that the goal keeper could only get a hand to. The ball fell to ground and the awaiting prodigal son, Duncan, pounced mid scramble to slot home a welcome goal; 1-0

I said earlier that speed doesn’t matter, well it did. The Uni boys charged down the pitch outrunning their defenders to find themselves one out with keeper Zoolander. More at home on a cat walk, Zoolander looked confused, couldn’t pull out the Magnum (pictured left) and the Monash striker slotted the ball into the net; 1-1.

A rapid counter attack……..[sorry, stopping for breath – fast paced you know and I’m old]……..and [insert name here] takes the ball down the right flank to again cross the ball to the back post. The keeper again deflected the ball, but this time to Colin who with precision and guile guided the ball past the bumbling keeper; 2-1

AC, on any given Sunday would normally rest on this and allow the Uni boys to dominate. However, today was not that day. Brendan taking control of the ball inside the box approached the keeper then comically bounced the ball under the diving keeper like he was playing down ball in the school yard. It was their day, oh yes it was their day; 3-1

In what could be viewed as the most comical or stupidest moment of the game, the QE2 Pricey, hung over after arriving home at 6AM (TBC by Iva). In his still drunken state he stumbled off the pitch picked up a drink, cigarette and oxygen tank and walked back on before receiving a pass. The ref stopped play and awarded Monash a free kick for the stupidity…….Pants award? Maybe, most definitely.

3-1 is a good lead to take into the half; however MU had different ideas, again using speed (not the drug) to outfox AC the defence and glide the ball past the keeper; 3-2

Half time
What would end up being the “team” goal of the game started with Zoolander taking the ball out of defence on the left wing getting past two players before reaching the box and realising he has no left foot. A stop and prop move before finding Mr R. Price the first charging down to meet the pass. Price, emulating Mr D Beckham curled the ball to Duncan at the back post who headed goal ward. The keeper saved, but again fumbled and Brendan watching and waiting like a Meerkat (pictured left) pounced on the scraps to slot his second for the game; 4-2

The final nail in the Uni boy’s coffin came via a signature Cresswell move. Taking the ball at the half, Steve rush forward avoiding defenders a d toe poked the ball into the goal; 5-2

End of game, and AC’s first victory since round two.

AC Malvern 5 - 2 Monash Uni

Brendan 2, Duncan, Colin, Cresswell