Season 2011 is behind us and will now be forgotten.
This is my last blog entry here. So, to those who have read over the last couple of years, thanks for you support and I hopE you enjoyed it.
My time will be spent on my new venture; LAID Cycling which can be found here:
http://laidcycling.blogspot.com/
--END OF BLOG --
Sep 23, 2011
Sep 2, 2011
Six seconds from glory
Not a lot usually happens in six seconds, but that was all that stood in the way of a flashy Malvern notching its second win for the season. Instead the lads had to settle for a draw against the mouthy kids from Beaumaris.
In near perfect conditions and with a bench fuller than we have ever seen it (despite losing Mark in the warm up), the boys from Malvern lined up against a team that smashed them beyond recognition earlier in the season. This time would be different; confidence was growing and things were finally clicking; playing a passing game to rival any. Better late than never, but with the transient nature of the team and no training it’s hard to expect more.
The first five minutes were critical in establishing the tempo and ascendancy, especially against “generation next” who aren’t too interested in working for anything. AC did exactly that, moving the ball around and building attacks from the back. The science of football was evident and AC worked out that the ball moves faster from a pass than it would with a player carrying it. Another benefit was the reduced risk of having the ball stolen from the player.
As the game progressed an infrequent spectator was heard saying “they look like a different team, I’m actually enjoying the spectacle.” It was true and after starting back in January with pre-season the boys had finally started to put on a show a mere eight months later.
Possession was well in favour of Malvern, but like most weeks they lacked enough venom in their attack to find the net. Corners came and went, but they just lacked the panache to finish it off. In stepped the less pasty lanky Irish lad, Colin who got himself in the right spot. The ball came into the box and he managed to get his bobbling bonce onto the ball scoring his first for the year and AC’s first for five weeks.
AC was like a runaway train as their confidence grew until the moment when things went a little wrong. A routine goal kick by the resident shot stopper took a little longer than the allocated six seconds and the referee decided Tim was being selfish and should share. The gift was a free kick to the opposition on the edge of the box for the time infringement.
The wall was set and the young lad stepped up and banged the ball into the back of Pricey’s head before finding its way past a diving Tim. A deflating sigh could be heard for mile around as the harsh reality was that Beaumaris was back in the game.
What followed was a made for TV event as the two teams battled it out in a very entertaining affair with neither getting a major advantage. AC looked the most likely to score a second, but the gods wouldn’t allow it letting them settle for hitting the woodwork. Beaumaris weren’t without their chances, but some brilliant work and goal line saves by Will they maintained the level scoreline for the day.
The game finished 1-1 and it seems that AC has hit some rare form heading into the McRopod Cup. The big questions are; can they shut down the Danish King Lars? Can they find an avenue to goal? and will they lift for Coach Dennis’ last ever game as manager?
AC Malvern 1 - 1 Beaumaris
Brien
Best in show: Steve Cresswell
WAG’s player of the match: Will
In near perfect conditions and with a bench fuller than we have ever seen it (despite losing Mark in the warm up), the boys from Malvern lined up against a team that smashed them beyond recognition earlier in the season. This time would be different; confidence was growing and things were finally clicking; playing a passing game to rival any. Better late than never, but with the transient nature of the team and no training it’s hard to expect more.
The first five minutes were critical in establishing the tempo and ascendancy, especially against “generation next” who aren’t too interested in working for anything. AC did exactly that, moving the ball around and building attacks from the back. The science of football was evident and AC worked out that the ball moves faster from a pass than it would with a player carrying it. Another benefit was the reduced risk of having the ball stolen from the player.
As the game progressed an infrequent spectator was heard saying “they look like a different team, I’m actually enjoying the spectacle.” It was true and after starting back in January with pre-season the boys had finally started to put on a show a mere eight months later.
Possession was well in favour of Malvern, but like most weeks they lacked enough venom in their attack to find the net. Corners came and went, but they just lacked the panache to finish it off. In stepped the less pasty lanky Irish lad, Colin who got himself in the right spot. The ball came into the box and he managed to get his bobbling bonce onto the ball scoring his first for the year and AC’s first for five weeks.
AC was like a runaway train as their confidence grew until the moment when things went a little wrong. A routine goal kick by the resident shot stopper took a little longer than the allocated six seconds and the referee decided Tim was being selfish and should share. The gift was a free kick to the opposition on the edge of the box for the time infringement.
The wall was set and the young lad stepped up and banged the ball into the back of Pricey’s head before finding its way past a diving Tim. A deflating sigh could be heard for mile around as the harsh reality was that Beaumaris was back in the game.
What followed was a made for TV event as the two teams battled it out in a very entertaining affair with neither getting a major advantage. AC looked the most likely to score a second, but the gods wouldn’t allow it letting them settle for hitting the woodwork. Beaumaris weren’t without their chances, but some brilliant work and goal line saves by Will they maintained the level scoreline for the day.
The game finished 1-1 and it seems that AC has hit some rare form heading into the McRopod Cup. The big questions are; can they shut down the Danish King Lars? Can they find an avenue to goal? and will they lift for Coach Dennis’ last ever game as manager?
AC Malvern 1 - 1 Beaumaris
Brien
Best in show: Steve Cresswell
WAG’s player of the match: Will
Aug 19, 2011
Without honour we just have a loss.....
Honourable loss; if you Google it you get a polarised view on the topic. “No such thing as an honourable loss: Selwood”, “Honourable loss not an option: Goodes” or “Ballarat prides honourable loss to league heavyweight”. Whichever way you look at it half full or half empty 2011 is the season of honour and the season of loss for AC.
The word honour, from the Latin word honos, has many meanings which could be used in all manner of ways, but for AC I think the best definition I could find was “to show courteous behaviour to.” So when I say that this Sunday AC had another honourable loss to Old Xav’s it means they got pants whilst being courteous and respectful.
Before I go on with the match details another over used phrase this year is “depleted list”. It’s a phrase that keeps rolling out every week recently without a sense of context. For the uninformed AC started off with a very prosperous and promising preseason; however since then they have slid the slippery slopes to the point of begging for mercy from the injury Gods.
Before the first kick off tragedy struck with Dennis forced to retire with neck issues and Coulter being ruled out for the season with the same injury that crippled Beckham’s and possibly England’s World Cup hopes. These are both losses you can cover, but since then AC have lost the following: Eddie (season - knee and job in the UK), Adam (season - deported), Damo (five weeks – knee), Pinkney (many weeks – back and now ankle), Mario (three weeks – foot) and Jay (four weeks – groin then ankle although he managed to ski). It has been a terrible year that has been reflected on the scoreboard with a lot of “honourable losses” and a single gutsy hard fought win.
Today’s game was going to be one of the toughest of the season with Old Xav’s occupying the top few spots all year and really putting some teams to the sword in the process.
A strategy of stem the flow, then build from there was adopted as the boys rolled out with a 4-1-4-1 formation. The early signs were good as AC managed to curtail the speed of the OX’s strikers by shutting down the space, especially for the dangerous bald #57. AC looked composed and managed to maintain possession, even thrusting forward to create some chances for Marty and Garriet.
As the game progressed one thing became evident; there was no single source of brilliance or no Hollywood passes. This was a balanced affair with everyone contributing and supporting their team mates. It was brilliant to watch and AC was in the game and starting to worry the boys of privilege from Kew who started turning on the ref and themselves. A 0-0 result of half time was looking good.........until.......
A momentary lapse in concentration and OX’s do what good teams do, they punish you. Punishment came in the form of a goal a bitterly disappointing result given the outstanding effort in the first 45.
The second half was a blur of much the same; concentrated effort, momentary lapses in concentration and a sprinkling of injury to add some spice. Old Xav’s managed to slot home three more goals on the back of two more momentary lapses and a third from an awkward tackle from Captain Cresswell which resulted in a penalty. Tim managed to go the right way and almost save, but it wasn’t our day.
In a quest to further deplete the list AC suffered two more injuries as Matty Pinkney who was playing out of his skin, copped a harsh challenge resulting in the ballooning of his ankle in front of the adoring Xavs fans. Matt is expected to be out for a couple of weeks. Then not long after, Pete hit the deck with a hamstring strain and was out for the rest of the game. In summary, another honourable 4-0 loss for the boys from Malvern.
I ask that all readers of this blog say a prayer, beg or do whatever you do to help us get through the rest of the season unscathed and set ourselves up for a prosperous season 2012 in division 4.
Three games remain in 2011 with the pick of the fixtures being the McRopod Cup on 4 September at the Stadium of SHite. AC still has one last chance to get something out of the year, presuming they can stop Lars the Danish goal scoring king.
AC Malvern 0 – 4 Old Xavs
Best in show: Steve Cresswell (despite the penalty)
WAGS player of the match: Matt Pinkney
The word honour, from the Latin word honos, has many meanings which could be used in all manner of ways, but for AC I think the best definition I could find was “to show courteous behaviour to.” So when I say that this Sunday AC had another honourable loss to Old Xav’s it means they got pants whilst being courteous and respectful.
Before I go on with the match details another over used phrase this year is “depleted list”. It’s a phrase that keeps rolling out every week recently without a sense of context. For the uninformed AC started off with a very prosperous and promising preseason; however since then they have slid the slippery slopes to the point of begging for mercy from the injury Gods.
Before the first kick off tragedy struck with Dennis forced to retire with neck issues and Coulter being ruled out for the season with the same injury that crippled Beckham’s and possibly England’s World Cup hopes. These are both losses you can cover, but since then AC have lost the following: Eddie (season - knee and job in the UK), Adam (season - deported), Damo (five weeks – knee), Pinkney (many weeks – back and now ankle), Mario (three weeks – foot) and Jay (four weeks – groin then ankle although he managed to ski). It has been a terrible year that has been reflected on the scoreboard with a lot of “honourable losses” and a single gutsy hard fought win.
Today’s game was going to be one of the toughest of the season with Old Xav’s occupying the top few spots all year and really putting some teams to the sword in the process.
A strategy of stem the flow, then build from there was adopted as the boys rolled out with a 4-1-4-1 formation. The early signs were good as AC managed to curtail the speed of the OX’s strikers by shutting down the space, especially for the dangerous bald #57. AC looked composed and managed to maintain possession, even thrusting forward to create some chances for Marty and Garriet.
As the game progressed one thing became evident; there was no single source of brilliance or no Hollywood passes. This was a balanced affair with everyone contributing and supporting their team mates. It was brilliant to watch and AC was in the game and starting to worry the boys of privilege from Kew who started turning on the ref and themselves. A 0-0 result of half time was looking good.........until.......
A momentary lapse in concentration and OX’s do what good teams do, they punish you. Punishment came in the form of a goal a bitterly disappointing result given the outstanding effort in the first 45.
The second half was a blur of much the same; concentrated effort, momentary lapses in concentration and a sprinkling of injury to add some spice. Old Xav’s managed to slot home three more goals on the back of two more momentary lapses and a third from an awkward tackle from Captain Cresswell which resulted in a penalty. Tim managed to go the right way and almost save, but it wasn’t our day.
In a quest to further deplete the list AC suffered two more injuries as Matty Pinkney who was playing out of his skin, copped a harsh challenge resulting in the ballooning of his ankle in front of the adoring Xavs fans. Matt is expected to be out for a couple of weeks. Then not long after, Pete hit the deck with a hamstring strain and was out for the rest of the game. In summary, another honourable 4-0 loss for the boys from Malvern.
I ask that all readers of this blog say a prayer, beg or do whatever you do to help us get through the rest of the season unscathed and set ourselves up for a prosperous season 2012 in division 4.
Three games remain in 2011 with the pick of the fixtures being the McRopod Cup on 4 September at the Stadium of SHite. AC still has one last chance to get something out of the year, presuming they can stop Lars the Danish goal scoring king.
AC Malvern 0 – 4 Old Xavs
Best in show: Steve Cresswell (despite the penalty)
WAGS player of the match: Matt Pinkney
Aug 12, 2011
Normal service resumed
The lengthy writers ban has been lifted by the Global Association of Bloggers or GAB as they are commonly know. Demands on performance improvements and commitment from the “athletes” on the field have now met the minimum standard required to justify comment.
Bloggers were relieved after lifting the ban to see an epic battle unfold, although no one would take the points at Central Park on Sunday.
AC headed into the game with an out list matching the size of those available. Never the less they lined up with the many from the squad who took it to Old Melbournain’s a week earlier. The rampaging giant lunged John was back and Derk was there to continue his midfield dominance.
Another demanding speech pre- game from Dennis may have been just the ticket as AC took the game to Old Camberwell. Derk’s composure on the ball allowed for some great delivery to Marty and Garriet who were intent on causing havoc. Unprecedented early game chances presented themselves and the strike force put the OC’s keeper on notice.
Captain Cresswell has turned his game around since the events pre match last weekend. Today, he led from the front.....actually the back. Steve and Rich co-ordinated the defence, snuffing out attacks at will. Steve ran like never before which allowed Owen to briefly venture up forward to create a chance only to find the cross bar.
The OC’s attack came thick and fast after that, but Pricey this time was on hand to quell the repeated threats. Having the game of his season Pricey owned right back and anyone who dared to venture near.
With defence covered it came to Malvern to make the most of their chances when presented and to create more. “Shoot on sight” was the clear instructions of Coach Dennis which was a little harder than it seemed.
The ball seems to move with ease from the back to the front with Derk, John and Wade imposing themselves on the game. As confidence grew, so too did the number of shots. Marty and Garriet started worrying the keeper with a few flying just wide.
The turning point for Malvern came when the number 4 of OC decided to give Steve a smack in the back of the head during a stoppage. Steve, ordinarily would have knocked him out, but the new Steve used a few words and moved on.....Unfortunately the words weren’t very friendly and the young ref showed both players a red card. This stopped the attacking momentum for a while as the clock started to run down. A reshuffle moved Pete down back to cover the gap and Garriet was sacrificed removing one scoring option.
AC were holding tight and the game was fading to a drawn result. Five minutes remained in the game when an onslaught from the boys in red and black found Marty and Wade repeatedly with scoring chances. Marty came closest of the two flying agonisingly close to the corner, but without luck inside the last minute.
The game ended 0-0 and AC remain on the bottom staring down the barrel of relegation. The renewed Malvern will not go down without a fight as they stand committed and motivated for the remainder of the season. The McRopod Cup is only around the corner which remains the only chance for glory in 2011.
AC Malvern 0 - 0 Old Camberwell
Best in Show: Wade
WAG's player: John
Ashman Lush player that counts:Pricey
Bloggers were relieved after lifting the ban to see an epic battle unfold, although no one would take the points at Central Park on Sunday.
AC headed into the game with an out list matching the size of those available. Never the less they lined up with the many from the squad who took it to Old Melbournain’s a week earlier. The rampaging giant lunged John was back and Derk was there to continue his midfield dominance.
Another demanding speech pre- game from Dennis may have been just the ticket as AC took the game to Old Camberwell. Derk’s composure on the ball allowed for some great delivery to Marty and Garriet who were intent on causing havoc. Unprecedented early game chances presented themselves and the strike force put the OC’s keeper on notice.
Captain Cresswell has turned his game around since the events pre match last weekend. Today, he led from the front.....actually the back. Steve and Rich co-ordinated the defence, snuffing out attacks at will. Steve ran like never before which allowed Owen to briefly venture up forward to create a chance only to find the cross bar.
The OC’s attack came thick and fast after that, but Pricey this time was on hand to quell the repeated threats. Having the game of his season Pricey owned right back and anyone who dared to venture near.
With defence covered it came to Malvern to make the most of their chances when presented and to create more. “Shoot on sight” was the clear instructions of Coach Dennis which was a little harder than it seemed.
The ball seems to move with ease from the back to the front with Derk, John and Wade imposing themselves on the game. As confidence grew, so too did the number of shots. Marty and Garriet started worrying the keeper with a few flying just wide.
The turning point for Malvern came when the number 4 of OC decided to give Steve a smack in the back of the head during a stoppage. Steve, ordinarily would have knocked him out, but the new Steve used a few words and moved on.....Unfortunately the words weren’t very friendly and the young ref showed both players a red card. This stopped the attacking momentum for a while as the clock started to run down. A reshuffle moved Pete down back to cover the gap and Garriet was sacrificed removing one scoring option.
AC were holding tight and the game was fading to a drawn result. Five minutes remained in the game when an onslaught from the boys in red and black found Marty and Wade repeatedly with scoring chances. Marty came closest of the two flying agonisingly close to the corner, but without luck inside the last minute.
The game ended 0-0 and AC remain on the bottom staring down the barrel of relegation. The renewed Malvern will not go down without a fight as they stand committed and motivated for the remainder of the season. The McRopod Cup is only around the corner which remains the only chance for glory in 2011.
AC Malvern 0 - 0 Old Camberwell
Best in Show: Wade
WAG's player: John
Ashman Lush player that counts:Pricey
Aug 1, 2011
Jul 28, 2011
More agony without the ecstasy....
No match report prepared.
AC Malvern 0 - 7 Other guys
Best in show: Mike
WAG's player of thew match: Garriet Tucker
Lung buster award: John
Season 2011 is very much looking like this, and that'sbefore kick off:
Jul 20, 2011
The god (of Thunder) has spoken
AC Malvern was suffering from brontophobia as they let Dandenong away with a “narrow” victory on Sunday.
Darkness descended in Melbourne’s outer south east on a day that many would have been better to have stayed in bed. The signs were ominous; a huge pitch, no match record book, Pricey still drunk and of course the world’s favourite ref to officiate. AC should have seen the writing on the wall, but maybe they were too busy scrambling to find player registration numbers to see said wall.
The late kick off was made even later by the inept referees poor ability of time keeping skills. The battle was now on to beat the failing light and ironically the fast approaching storm – no doubt laden with plenty of thunder.
AC rolled out yet another makeshift squad this week and played some good football for the first eight minutes with some great moves down the left through Colin and Wade before a catastrophic implosion, aptly led by Captain Cresswell. Surely the words of Mario were still ringing in the ears of the players “encourage each other, don’t have a go if someone stuffs up”.....clearly not as Steve tore into the left sided players. Within a minute of the Cresswell led eruption the Thunder had slotted home two quick goals and the rot began.
Without dissecting the rest of the match in too much detail AC was outclassed by a better opposition whose speed caused no end of trouble. AC were never in the game with the boys struggling to string passes together and constantly outplayed by the deceptively quick Thunder. Somewhere amongst the mire Terry was able to score a much needed goal and Wade too had a brilliant opportunity, but forgot to pull the trigger.
At times AC were like watching Bennie Hill chasing nurses through the park; running in circles but getting nowhere. Frustration was building and infighting mounting and our friend the ref was only fuelling the fire. Yellow cards were once again handed out at will for minor verbal indiscretions whilst ferocious tackles went without penalty. He truly is a confusing and sad man, but that comes as no surprise as I’m told his day time job is security guard at Kitten’s in South Melbourne – all class.
A short blog for what is the worst defeat in AC Malvern history. The season is now gone and relegation looks inevitable, but the question remains – what can Malvern salvage from the wreck? Pride, the McRopod Cup and maybe a couple of points. Who knows, but the coaching staff must now look to the future and development of the list for season 2012.
AC Malvern 1 - 10 Dandenong Thunder
Unitt
Best in show: Colin Brien
WAG's player of the match: Wade
Worst display of teamsmanship: Steve Cresswell
Darkness descended in Melbourne’s outer south east on a day that many would have been better to have stayed in bed. The signs were ominous; a huge pitch, no match record book, Pricey still drunk and of course the world’s favourite ref to officiate. AC should have seen the writing on the wall, but maybe they were too busy scrambling to find player registration numbers to see said wall.
The late kick off was made even later by the inept referees poor ability of time keeping skills. The battle was now on to beat the failing light and ironically the fast approaching storm – no doubt laden with plenty of thunder.
AC rolled out yet another makeshift squad this week and played some good football for the first eight minutes with some great moves down the left through Colin and Wade before a catastrophic implosion, aptly led by Captain Cresswell. Surely the words of Mario were still ringing in the ears of the players “encourage each other, don’t have a go if someone stuffs up”.....clearly not as Steve tore into the left sided players. Within a minute of the Cresswell led eruption the Thunder had slotted home two quick goals and the rot began.
Without dissecting the rest of the match in too much detail AC was outclassed by a better opposition whose speed caused no end of trouble. AC were never in the game with the boys struggling to string passes together and constantly outplayed by the deceptively quick Thunder. Somewhere amongst the mire Terry was able to score a much needed goal and Wade too had a brilliant opportunity, but forgot to pull the trigger.
At times AC were like watching Bennie Hill chasing nurses through the park; running in circles but getting nowhere. Frustration was building and infighting mounting and our friend the ref was only fuelling the fire. Yellow cards were once again handed out at will for minor verbal indiscretions whilst ferocious tackles went without penalty. He truly is a confusing and sad man, but that comes as no surprise as I’m told his day time job is security guard at Kitten’s in South Melbourne – all class.
A short blog for what is the worst defeat in AC Malvern history. The season is now gone and relegation looks inevitable, but the question remains – what can Malvern salvage from the wreck? Pride, the McRopod Cup and maybe a couple of points. Who knows, but the coaching staff must now look to the future and development of the list for season 2012.
AC Malvern 1 - 10 Dandenong Thunder
Unitt
Best in show: Colin Brien
WAG's player of the match: Wade
Worst display of teamsmanship: Steve Cresswell
Jul 13, 2011
The Yarra flows on
The flood gates didn’t quiet open, but South Yarra managed to sneak four past Malvern to take the points last week.
This match was met with much fear and trepidation. It marked the firsts of the return legs and offered the boys from Malvern a yard stick on their progress from the season opener. The wounds were still raw from the season opener with the power of the Yarra too much as they flooded the back of the net eight times. It was hopefully the low water mark for AC as since then they have pieced together their shattered confidence match by match.
Such an important game requires a strong squad, but AC was certainly lacking with an all star team watching from the sideline. The biggest impact injury was the loss of Tim in goals who ran the marathon quicker than the time it took him to walk from his car to the sidelines. Thankfully for AC the more than handy Captain Cresswell put his hand up to tend goals for the afternoon.
Derk Diggler returned from his sojourn to the homeland to line up in the midfield for the added Dutch flare and pint sized left winger Wade was called into the squad to help Garriet look tall.
Pre match challenges aside the lads from AC held their own in the early period of play. They key was stifling the Yarra midfield who last time ran rampant. This however only solved part of the problem as
AC was unable to get any forward supply to their underemployed strikers.
Confidence of a reasonable result was building before the might of Yarra, or Backpackers United flexed its muscle. A beautiful piece of work resulted in their right winger unleashing a thunderbolt from outside the box. Like a shot from the gun it rocketed past Steve through the smallest of gaps and into the net. A timely reminder of what they can do with only half a chance.
Midfield control was shifting away from the red and black. AC weren’t winning any contested ball and the smallest man on the pitch, Garriet looked the only one willing to have ago. Not deterred by their obvious size advantage Garriet put himself and his body in every contest and like David did to Goliath the little man was winning against the odds. Unfortunately, despite his efforts, he lacked the support required and Yarra would inevitably win the next contest, before pushing forward.
The Malvern defence would be excused if the put in a repetitive strain injury claim as I think 80
percent of the play has been lumped on them this year. Fatigue is inevitably going to take its toll and Yarra would take advantage of the weakening adversary slotting home another.
The second half led to an inspired Malvern and more attacking football. Understanding that they lacked control in the midfield the boys used the wings. Find of the day, Wade was dancing his way past defenders and creating half chances. With a little match fitness he could find a home there on the wing putting pressure on the out of form Jones.
Coach Dennis opted for one striker, pushing Terry back into the centre of the midfield which started to even the balance. From the sidelines it was the best football Malvern had played against a quality opposition. Yarra were worried for the smallest measure of time. Malvern were now structurally sound, but continuing pressure meant they lacked the fitness to keep up with the precise balls from the foot of Yarra’s “Scouser” and Co.
Steve played more than his part making some spectacular saves to keep the score at two nil; however Yarra working off the premise of the more shots you take the more chance of scoring, kept smashing them at Steve finally sneaking one past. Sensing the inevitable defeat and sore back Steve moved into the outfield and Mario stepped in for keeper’s duties for the remainder of the game.
Yarra would round out the match scoring a fourth ensuring that AC were only half as bad as the start of the season.
A few timely quotes and sage advice from Michael Jordan may provide inspiration as the team attempts to move forward.
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take”
“I’m not out there sweating just to find out what it’s like to sweat”
“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something, but I can’t accept not trying"
AC Malvern 0 - 4 UK Old Boys
Best in show:Garriet Tucker
WAG's player of the match: Steve Cresswell
Ashman Lush player that counts: Rich Owen
This match was met with much fear and trepidation. It marked the firsts of the return legs and offered the boys from Malvern a yard stick on their progress from the season opener. The wounds were still raw from the season opener with the power of the Yarra too much as they flooded the back of the net eight times. It was hopefully the low water mark for AC as since then they have pieced together their shattered confidence match by match.
Such an important game requires a strong squad, but AC was certainly lacking with an all star team watching from the sideline. The biggest impact injury was the loss of Tim in goals who ran the marathon quicker than the time it took him to walk from his car to the sidelines. Thankfully for AC the more than handy Captain Cresswell put his hand up to tend goals for the afternoon.
Derk Diggler returned from his sojourn to the homeland to line up in the midfield for the added Dutch flare and pint sized left winger Wade was called into the squad to help Garriet look tall.
Pre match challenges aside the lads from AC held their own in the early period of play. They key was stifling the Yarra midfield who last time ran rampant. This however only solved part of the problem as
AC was unable to get any forward supply to their underemployed strikers.
Confidence of a reasonable result was building before the might of Yarra, or Backpackers United flexed its muscle. A beautiful piece of work resulted in their right winger unleashing a thunderbolt from outside the box. Like a shot from the gun it rocketed past Steve through the smallest of gaps and into the net. A timely reminder of what they can do with only half a chance.
Midfield control was shifting away from the red and black. AC weren’t winning any contested ball and the smallest man on the pitch, Garriet looked the only one willing to have ago. Not deterred by their obvious size advantage Garriet put himself and his body in every contest and like David did to Goliath the little man was winning against the odds. Unfortunately, despite his efforts, he lacked the support required and Yarra would inevitably win the next contest, before pushing forward.
The Malvern defence would be excused if the put in a repetitive strain injury claim as I think 80
percent of the play has been lumped on them this year. Fatigue is inevitably going to take its toll and Yarra would take advantage of the weakening adversary slotting home another.
The second half led to an inspired Malvern and more attacking football. Understanding that they lacked control in the midfield the boys used the wings. Find of the day, Wade was dancing his way past defenders and creating half chances. With a little match fitness he could find a home there on the wing putting pressure on the out of form Jones.
Coach Dennis opted for one striker, pushing Terry back into the centre of the midfield which started to even the balance. From the sidelines it was the best football Malvern had played against a quality opposition. Yarra were worried for the smallest measure of time. Malvern were now structurally sound, but continuing pressure meant they lacked the fitness to keep up with the precise balls from the foot of Yarra’s “Scouser” and Co.
Steve played more than his part making some spectacular saves to keep the score at two nil; however Yarra working off the premise of the more shots you take the more chance of scoring, kept smashing them at Steve finally sneaking one past. Sensing the inevitable defeat and sore back Steve moved into the outfield and Mario stepped in for keeper’s duties for the remainder of the game.
Yarra would round out the match scoring a fourth ensuring that AC were only half as bad as the start of the season.
A few timely quotes and sage advice from Michael Jordan may provide inspiration as the team attempts to move forward.
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take”
“I’m not out there sweating just to find out what it’s like to sweat”
“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something, but I can’t accept not trying"
AC Malvern 0 - 4 UK Old Boys
Best in show:Garriet Tucker
WAG's player of the match: Steve Cresswell
Ashman Lush player that counts: Rich Owen
Jun 30, 2011
Come from behind squared
The halfway marker for the season brought about more frowns from the growing fan base as AC battled more than the elements to succumb to the youthful determination of Monash Uni on Sunday.
AC Malvern arrived in the outer south-east, otherwise known as the funnel for Melbourne’s ugliest weather, with the wind blowing a gale and rain threatening. It’s no wonder that the neighbouring stadium, Waverley Park couldn’t attract the big crowds – its bloody freezing out here. The one saving grace for the day was the pristine pitch which plays host to Melbourne Victory’s training sessions.
An early sign of how the day would unfold was the over officious nature in which the referee went about his pre-game address to the team as he barked at Coach Dennis “All team members in the rooms and they’d better be ready when I get there”. Wow, hi how are you!
AC was in search of goals and looked to ‘perennial’ goal sneak Rich Owen to deliver as he lined up at the opposite end of the park than normal. It wasn’t long before this decision would be reversed as Dennis made the switch sending him back help Mario and co to defend in this howling gale.
The ref, preoccupied with everything off the pitch rather than on it did the following: demanded the coaching staff move to the furthest side of the ground, stopped the game to tell all non-players to get outside the arbitrary marked box on the ground deemed to be the match official space and told the freezing players on the sidelines to sit still. All this whilst there was a football match unfolding under his nose. Now there’s a man finger on the pulse and a sense of the real issues. It gets worse, but more of that later as I am distracted from the actual game unfolding.
The game that was unfolding was a great little battle that belied the ladder positions of both teams with AC sitting plum on the bottom and Monash fourth. Despite the wind AC were going toe to toe with their younger opponents although without managing to get a shot away.
Running into the headwind was taking its toll on the players and rotations would be the order of the half to keep legs fresh for the downwind run in the second stanza. Changes are usually a simple affair of exchange, but this ref was intent on continuing his Hitler style reign of proceedings demanding players change precisely at the centreline. Truth be told if he could have, he would have demanded an electronic subs board.
Football, yep football.....The first half highlight came from Monash Uni. A lucky, but intentional shot from just inside the half way line sailed on the wind at rocket speed. Surprised by the attempt, Tim was caught off guard and the ball hit the back of the net.
It was half time and Dan had just arrived to help his brethren out for the remainder of the game after misreading the email which indicated the starting time.
AC decided not to make the four kilometre trek to the rooms, AC braved the wind some more for some sage advice from the leadership group. “We’ve got the wind and Owen up front. Bang the ball in and we should score two or three here”
Malvern went out on the attack, certainly taking advantage of the wind as they peppered the goal mouth with chances. Pricey was a little less interested as he went for a walk, decided to stop and text some people and update his Facebook status before eventually returning to the game. Meanwhile the midfield was fresh thanks to the earlier rotations and was completely dominating proceedings. The rolling partnership of Owen, Matthews and Tucker were causing all sorts of problems up front getting closer to scoring.
An innocuous corner was responsible for AC drawing level when Steve, using his pre-game lesson in physics from a student in the car park used the wind to his advantage. He struck the ball from the corner flag curling it in without touching a player. Scores were level and things were getting interesting.
Twenty minutes in and AC were still dominant when a ball into the box was brought down by the towering Owen only to have AC newbie Garriet get on the end of it and drill home his first goal for the club. AC had hit the front and with the wind at their backs were favourites to go on with it.
Another series of changes upset the team balance and Monash got back on top. Their only real threat was the scorer of the first goal whose thunderous right boot went close many times in the closing stages of the game.
Monash managed to defy the odds, after Tim was crushed and damn near broke his back, banging on the two goals required to come from behind and take the points in a hotly contested affair. AC battled hard and controlled much of the game, but was unlucky on this occasion, walking away with no points and six yellow cards for various ridiculous infractions
AC turn at the half way mark with one win to their name.
AC Malvern 2 - 3 Monash Uni
Cresswell, Tucker
Best in show: Tim Nolan
WAG's Player of the match: Rich Owen
Ashman Lush player that counts: Garriet Tucker
Twits not doing it for the team: Pricey & Dan
AC Malvern arrived in the outer south-east, otherwise known as the funnel for Melbourne’s ugliest weather, with the wind blowing a gale and rain threatening. It’s no wonder that the neighbouring stadium, Waverley Park couldn’t attract the big crowds – its bloody freezing out here. The one saving grace for the day was the pristine pitch which plays host to Melbourne Victory’s training sessions.
An early sign of how the day would unfold was the over officious nature in which the referee went about his pre-game address to the team as he barked at Coach Dennis “All team members in the rooms and they’d better be ready when I get there”. Wow, hi how are you!
AC was in search of goals and looked to ‘perennial’ goal sneak Rich Owen to deliver as he lined up at the opposite end of the park than normal. It wasn’t long before this decision would be reversed as Dennis made the switch sending him back help Mario and co to defend in this howling gale.
The ref, preoccupied with everything off the pitch rather than on it did the following: demanded the coaching staff move to the furthest side of the ground, stopped the game to tell all non-players to get outside the arbitrary marked box on the ground deemed to be the match official space and told the freezing players on the sidelines to sit still. All this whilst there was a football match unfolding under his nose. Now there’s a man finger on the pulse and a sense of the real issues. It gets worse, but more of that later as I am distracted from the actual game unfolding.
The game that was unfolding was a great little battle that belied the ladder positions of both teams with AC sitting plum on the bottom and Monash fourth. Despite the wind AC were going toe to toe with their younger opponents although without managing to get a shot away.
Running into the headwind was taking its toll on the players and rotations would be the order of the half to keep legs fresh for the downwind run in the second stanza. Changes are usually a simple affair of exchange, but this ref was intent on continuing his Hitler style reign of proceedings demanding players change precisely at the centreline. Truth be told if he could have, he would have demanded an electronic subs board.
Football, yep football.....The first half highlight came from Monash Uni. A lucky, but intentional shot from just inside the half way line sailed on the wind at rocket speed. Surprised by the attempt, Tim was caught off guard and the ball hit the back of the net.
It was half time and Dan had just arrived to help his brethren out for the remainder of the game after misreading the email which indicated the starting time.
AC decided not to make the four kilometre trek to the rooms, AC braved the wind some more for some sage advice from the leadership group. “We’ve got the wind and Owen up front. Bang the ball in and we should score two or three here”
Malvern went out on the attack, certainly taking advantage of the wind as they peppered the goal mouth with chances. Pricey was a little less interested as he went for a walk, decided to stop and text some people and update his Facebook status before eventually returning to the game. Meanwhile the midfield was fresh thanks to the earlier rotations and was completely dominating proceedings. The rolling partnership of Owen, Matthews and Tucker were causing all sorts of problems up front getting closer to scoring.
An innocuous corner was responsible for AC drawing level when Steve, using his pre-game lesson in physics from a student in the car park used the wind to his advantage. He struck the ball from the corner flag curling it in without touching a player. Scores were level and things were getting interesting.
Twenty minutes in and AC were still dominant when a ball into the box was brought down by the towering Owen only to have AC newbie Garriet get on the end of it and drill home his first goal for the club. AC had hit the front and with the wind at their backs were favourites to go on with it.
Another series of changes upset the team balance and Monash got back on top. Their only real threat was the scorer of the first goal whose thunderous right boot went close many times in the closing stages of the game.
Monash managed to defy the odds, after Tim was crushed and damn near broke his back, banging on the two goals required to come from behind and take the points in a hotly contested affair. AC battled hard and controlled much of the game, but was unlucky on this occasion, walking away with no points and six yellow cards for various ridiculous infractions
AC turn at the half way mark with one win to their name.
AC Malvern 2 - 3 Monash Uni
Cresswell, Tucker
Best in show: Tim Nolan
WAG's Player of the match: Rich Owen
Ashman Lush player that counts: Garriet Tucker
Twits not doing it for the team: Pricey & Dan
Jun 23, 2011
The king and his cup.......
The third instalment of the Mc Ropod cup was another classic with the scoring power of Central Park Rangers proving too much as the eclipsed their co-tenants with a one nil victory on Sunday. The significance of the match was amped up as both teams paid tribute with yellow armbands, to a former player Sean Wight who is currently battling cancer. (http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/demon-great-sean-wight-in-cancer-fight/story-e6frf9jf-1226019890149)
Greeted with a very windy day the focused and on time AC Malvern set about acclimatising to the conditions with an extended warm up. There is uncertainty around whether this was effective in their play, but it certainly confused the opposition who rolled out of bed and onto the pitch.
As always with these battles there is never much between the two teams with the result usually coming down to a single play, missed tackle or freak goal. Mindful of this AC paid full respect to any move going forward from the Rangers; especially those coming from nemesis Lars.
The name Lars means “he who is crowned with laurel”. So I assume this means King? Anyway if it is a King then it’s a very fitting name for the man who is clearly King off the McRopod Cup; scoring three of the four goals in previous battles. Needless to say attention would be paid to this most humble of Swedish men.
The early going had AC ever so slightly ahead in possession and control. The back four was led by Super Mario as he heralded the arrival of the King and his entourage. They ably dealt with any attack, channelling the ball back through the midfield.
AC looked good when they weren’t panicking and using the width. The only downfall today, and with much of the season was their inability to score. Unfortunately through the towering strength of the Rangers back four, namely Neil and Paul, AC were unable to get away a shot.
Just before the half the game started to open up and some fantastic through balls to T-Unitt allowed for hearts to flutter as AC were getting closer to scoring. The heat was on and battle lines were drawn as Terry had several opportunities which included a bruising clash in which neither Terry or Rangers keeper David gave an inch. The laws of physics meant that David came off second best in the clash of bodies, but said post game “I saw it coming so I braced myself for what was a good fair bump”.
Rangers weren’t without their chances as they shot off a 21 gun salute to have Tim make some fantastic saves as he always does. Some luck for AC as the ones Tim couldn’t save were saved by the bar.
A slight change to the AC structure before the half seemed to change the game as dominance shifted to the blue and whites. Control in the midfield was maintained, but attacks were developing from both wings. Fortunately AC held on and would be able to regroup during the break with the score nil all. One could argue it was a fair half time score, but had AC been one up it may have been more fitting for their efforts.
The second half had the large crowd on the edge of their seats – though it could have been the wind that blew them that way. This was truly a classic in every sense with both teams going toe to toe for the ascendancy and a chance to hold aloft the trophy in front of adoring fans.
Malvern were still finding plenty of the ball, but gaps out wide were continuing to open up for the Rangers forwards to play into. Soon enough King Lars arrived on Malvern’s right wing unmarked and as he does so well, duly slotted home the first goal of the game.
A distraught Malvern tried to pick themselves up as they faced the reality of potentially another lost opportunity for silverware.
Coach Dennis consulted the board and realised something had to change. At this point it was better to have lost three nil than to try nothing and accept the one nil result. The undercover goal sneak Rich Owen was thrown forward to match the size of the Rangers backs, setting up a 3-4-3 formation in the hope of getting the two goals required to snatch the trophy.
The last fifteen minutes was test of the fittest as both teams scrambled for chances with both coming close without result.
A fantastic game came to an end with Lars scoring the only goal. His tally is now at four of the five scored in McRopod Cup history.
With Alan (the games sponsor) unable to attend it was left to Coach Dennis to present the trophy to the winning captain, Paul Davies from Rangers. AC are yet to get their names scribed on the trophy and now must look to round 17 in order to exact revenge and release it from the firm grip of Rangers.
It was a fantastic day and importantly both teams wish Sean the best for his battle with cancer.
AC Malvern 0 - 1 Central Park Rangers
Best in show: Tim Nolan
WAGs player of the match: Mario
Greeted with a very windy day the focused and on time AC Malvern set about acclimatising to the conditions with an extended warm up. There is uncertainty around whether this was effective in their play, but it certainly confused the opposition who rolled out of bed and onto the pitch.
As always with these battles there is never much between the two teams with the result usually coming down to a single play, missed tackle or freak goal. Mindful of this AC paid full respect to any move going forward from the Rangers; especially those coming from nemesis Lars.
The name Lars means “he who is crowned with laurel”. So I assume this means King? Anyway if it is a King then it’s a very fitting name for the man who is clearly King off the McRopod Cup; scoring three of the four goals in previous battles. Needless to say attention would be paid to this most humble of Swedish men.
The early going had AC ever so slightly ahead in possession and control. The back four was led by Super Mario as he heralded the arrival of the King and his entourage. They ably dealt with any attack, channelling the ball back through the midfield.
AC looked good when they weren’t panicking and using the width. The only downfall today, and with much of the season was their inability to score. Unfortunately through the towering strength of the Rangers back four, namely Neil and Paul, AC were unable to get away a shot.
Just before the half the game started to open up and some fantastic through balls to T-Unitt allowed for hearts to flutter as AC were getting closer to scoring. The heat was on and battle lines were drawn as Terry had several opportunities which included a bruising clash in which neither Terry or Rangers keeper David gave an inch. The laws of physics meant that David came off second best in the clash of bodies, but said post game “I saw it coming so I braced myself for what was a good fair bump”.
Rangers weren’t without their chances as they shot off a 21 gun salute to have Tim make some fantastic saves as he always does. Some luck for AC as the ones Tim couldn’t save were saved by the bar.
A slight change to the AC structure before the half seemed to change the game as dominance shifted to the blue and whites. Control in the midfield was maintained, but attacks were developing from both wings. Fortunately AC held on and would be able to regroup during the break with the score nil all. One could argue it was a fair half time score, but had AC been one up it may have been more fitting for their efforts.
The second half had the large crowd on the edge of their seats – though it could have been the wind that blew them that way. This was truly a classic in every sense with both teams going toe to toe for the ascendancy and a chance to hold aloft the trophy in front of adoring fans.
Malvern were still finding plenty of the ball, but gaps out wide were continuing to open up for the Rangers forwards to play into. Soon enough King Lars arrived on Malvern’s right wing unmarked and as he does so well, duly slotted home the first goal of the game.
A distraught Malvern tried to pick themselves up as they faced the reality of potentially another lost opportunity for silverware.
Coach Dennis consulted the board and realised something had to change. At this point it was better to have lost three nil than to try nothing and accept the one nil result. The undercover goal sneak Rich Owen was thrown forward to match the size of the Rangers backs, setting up a 3-4-3 formation in the hope of getting the two goals required to snatch the trophy.
The last fifteen minutes was test of the fittest as both teams scrambled for chances with both coming close without result.
A fantastic game came to an end with Lars scoring the only goal. His tally is now at four of the five scored in McRopod Cup history.
With Alan (the games sponsor) unable to attend it was left to Coach Dennis to present the trophy to the winning captain, Paul Davies from Rangers. AC are yet to get their names scribed on the trophy and now must look to round 17 in order to exact revenge and release it from the firm grip of Rangers.
It was a fantastic day and importantly both teams wish Sean the best for his battle with cancer.
AC Malvern 0 - 1 Central Park Rangers
Best in show: Tim Nolan
WAGs player of the match: Mario
Jun 19, 2011
Jun 16, 2011
iGeneration hand out an iLesson
AC Malvern was wishing the cloud of ash meant their flight to Beaumaris was cancelled on Sunday after the boys from Beauy took them apart to the tune of five nil.
An over confident Malvern arrived at the ground having already chalked this one down for a win. The flawed application of mathematics and logic had misguided the lads. The logic: AC lost to OX’s 0-1, Rangers lost to OX’s 1-6, Rangers drew with today’s opponents 2-2 therefore AC must be better than Rangers so a win is a certainty. Epic fail number one!
An arrogant swagger out from the rooms and the sight of 24 opponents all under 20 was not enough to keep the ego’s in check. “We’ll just beat them with physical dominance” giggled one player. Epic fail number two.....one must get close in order to apply physical pressure.
From the off AC were in trouble as the Facebook or iGeneration ran them ragged, pulling the makeshift defence from pillar to post as they moved the ball around with speed and accuracy. Even the fittest man in the squad, Pete was struggling to keep up with the pace set.
Beauy’s first breakthrough came via a penalty after fill in Paul used to having Basil by his side fell, but unfortunately for AC he fell the wrong way. The resulting wind blew the slight attacker down and he duly slotted home the first of many for the day.
Chance after chance followed as the mosquito fleet, charged on Red Bull and whatever else the kids have these days, pushed forward with the ball. AC were run off their feet doing what they could, but were relying heavily on Tim to keep them in it. It was like trying to stop the bleeding of a severed artery with a band aid. Looks like you’re doing something, but in reality it’s just a band aid solution (irony).
It was a tough game to watch as a supporter of Malvern, but there was some great football from the Beauy boys; even a bit of show boating crept in. That said there was some standout performances from a few in red and black. Colin didn’t stop running all day and created many chances on the wing despite being battered and usually playing three on one. Tim, bless him, managed to keep the goal tally to a handful with some great work winning many one on one contests and new Malvernite Shane was impressing with his run and efforts.
A dirty day for the club with two penalties and three goals from normal play, but a valuable lesson learnt – no win is guaranteed. “It was the loss we had to have heading into the cup game next week. It might shake the boys up. Also it didn’t help that half the regular team booked holidays on a weekend when we were playing” said club President Mr Malvern.
So now the lads look forward to the most important game of the season; the Central Park derby - Mc Ropod Cup.
AC Malvern 0 - 5 iGenreation
Best in show: Colin
WAG's player of the day: Shane
Mc Ropod Cup preview:
A tough challenge lies ahead for AC Malvern as they have been unable to beat the current cup holders since back in 2006 including all preseason friendlies.
An over confident Malvern arrived at the ground having already chalked this one down for a win. The flawed application of mathematics and logic had misguided the lads. The logic: AC lost to OX’s 0-1, Rangers lost to OX’s 1-6, Rangers drew with today’s opponents 2-2 therefore AC must be better than Rangers so a win is a certainty. Epic fail number one!
An arrogant swagger out from the rooms and the sight of 24 opponents all under 20 was not enough to keep the ego’s in check. “We’ll just beat them with physical dominance” giggled one player. Epic fail number two.....one must get close in order to apply physical pressure.
From the off AC were in trouble as the Facebook or iGeneration ran them ragged, pulling the makeshift defence from pillar to post as they moved the ball around with speed and accuracy. Even the fittest man in the squad, Pete was struggling to keep up with the pace set.
Beauy’s first breakthrough came via a penalty after fill in Paul used to having Basil by his side fell, but unfortunately for AC he fell the wrong way. The resulting wind blew the slight attacker down and he duly slotted home the first of many for the day.
Chance after chance followed as the mosquito fleet, charged on Red Bull and whatever else the kids have these days, pushed forward with the ball. AC were run off their feet doing what they could, but were relying heavily on Tim to keep them in it. It was like trying to stop the bleeding of a severed artery with a band aid. Looks like you’re doing something, but in reality it’s just a band aid solution (irony).
It was a tough game to watch as a supporter of Malvern, but there was some great football from the Beauy boys; even a bit of show boating crept in. That said there was some standout performances from a few in red and black. Colin didn’t stop running all day and created many chances on the wing despite being battered and usually playing three on one. Tim, bless him, managed to keep the goal tally to a handful with some great work winning many one on one contests and new Malvernite Shane was impressing with his run and efforts.
A dirty day for the club with two penalties and three goals from normal play, but a valuable lesson learnt – no win is guaranteed. “It was the loss we had to have heading into the cup game next week. It might shake the boys up. Also it didn’t help that half the regular team booked holidays on a weekend when we were playing” said club President Mr Malvern.
So now the lads look forward to the most important game of the season; the Central Park derby - Mc Ropod Cup.
AC Malvern 0 - 5 iGenreation
Best in show: Colin
WAG's player of the day: Shane
Mc Ropod Cup preview:
A tough challenge lies ahead for AC Malvern as they have been unable to beat the current cup holders since back in 2006 including all preseason friendlies.
The last four meetings:
AC 0-1 CPR
AC 2-2 CPR (Mc Ropod Cup)
AC 1-2 CPR (Mc Ropod Cup)
AC 1-3 CPR
Jun 14, 2011
Jun 10, 2011
Two cans of max and a trickle through the arms
A stirring effort and display of resistance in front of the season’s biggest crowd wasn’t enough as the table topping Old Xavs took the points with a one nil victory on Sunday.
An early or late morning heart starter, depending on when you arrived, in the form of a tirade of abuse from Coach Dennis. The reason for the red mist of an Irish man; tardiness. The entire Old Xav’s machine had arrived and was switched on ready to go before AC even had half a team and had the nets up.
Once players got the message and got moving, the warm up commenced, but only in a fashion that would further infuriate the manager. A simple drill, general apathy and disinterest launched another rocket up the collective arse of all and sundry. The message was clear, continue with this attitude and a repeat of the season opener and Old Xav’s will walk over AC eight nil or worse.
AC management took a huge risk by choosing to leave the season’s stars; Captain Cresswell and Colin on the bench for the kick off especially with fellow stars Jones and Debortolo out. This move would go to prove that no spot is guaranteed, it is earned at AC Malvern.
The high pitch warble of Dennis seemed to have the desired effect as AC managed to take it to the highly fancied OX’s early on. The introduction of The Hague’s finest in Derk complemented Jay in the middle and with Super Mario squashing attacks like they were mushrooms things were looking good.
An early setback as Garriet went down injured and it was thought an Ambulance may be needed as he was chaired off the pitch. Some quick thinking from the watching fans and an understanding of medical healing far greater than any doctor produced the perfect antidote. It seems that for any potential career ending knee knack that all is required is two cans of Pepsi Max on the affected area and “Bob’s your uncle”. Within minutes Garriet was up and about and ready to take on the world. Look out for this revelation in upcoming medical journals.
Now I won’t say that AC were an equal in terms of ability and the ladder was a reflection of that, but AC were playing out of their skin in an attempt to contain their fancied opponents. Red and black attacks were rare in the first half, but the focus and defensive mindedness was keeping the boat afloat.
OX’s had a few chances from range with the closest hitting the cross bar and shooting straight down. Luckily for AC the ref judged that the ball had not crossed the line and the score remained nil nil at the half.
The second half was a parade of pretty much the same although this time AC had fashioned a few more chances with Owen getting the closest late on. Finally the might of OX’s overpowered a tiring Malvern, but not quite in spectacular fashion that you’d expect. A limp shot, and Tim’s only mistake for the season saw the ball role painfully slow over the line (NOTE: it didn’t even reach the back of the net). After a cracking game with some brilliant saves, this would be Tim’s legacy for the day.
The game ended with AC buoyant in defeat as they keep their eye firmly on the achievable prize; the McRopod Cup.
AC Malvern 0 - 1 Old Xav's
Best in show: Entire team
WAG's player of the match: Entire team
Note: This was the first game we didn't see the Jesus arm salute - well done Pricey
An early or late morning heart starter, depending on when you arrived, in the form of a tirade of abuse from Coach Dennis. The reason for the red mist of an Irish man; tardiness. The entire Old Xav’s machine had arrived and was switched on ready to go before AC even had half a team and had the nets up.
Once players got the message and got moving, the warm up commenced, but only in a fashion that would further infuriate the manager. A simple drill, general apathy and disinterest launched another rocket up the collective arse of all and sundry. The message was clear, continue with this attitude and a repeat of the season opener and Old Xav’s will walk over AC eight nil or worse.
AC management took a huge risk by choosing to leave the season’s stars; Captain Cresswell and Colin on the bench for the kick off especially with fellow stars Jones and Debortolo out. This move would go to prove that no spot is guaranteed, it is earned at AC Malvern.
The high pitch warble of Dennis seemed to have the desired effect as AC managed to take it to the highly fancied OX’s early on. The introduction of The Hague’s finest in Derk complemented Jay in the middle and with Super Mario squashing attacks like they were mushrooms things were looking good.
An early setback as Garriet went down injured and it was thought an Ambulance may be needed as he was chaired off the pitch. Some quick thinking from the watching fans and an understanding of medical healing far greater than any doctor produced the perfect antidote. It seems that for any potential career ending knee knack that all is required is two cans of Pepsi Max on the affected area and “Bob’s your uncle”. Within minutes Garriet was up and about and ready to take on the world. Look out for this revelation in upcoming medical journals.
Now I won’t say that AC were an equal in terms of ability and the ladder was a reflection of that, but AC were playing out of their skin in an attempt to contain their fancied opponents. Red and black attacks were rare in the first half, but the focus and defensive mindedness was keeping the boat afloat.
OX’s had a few chances from range with the closest hitting the cross bar and shooting straight down. Luckily for AC the ref judged that the ball had not crossed the line and the score remained nil nil at the half.
The second half was a parade of pretty much the same although this time AC had fashioned a few more chances with Owen getting the closest late on. Finally the might of OX’s overpowered a tiring Malvern, but not quite in spectacular fashion that you’d expect. A limp shot, and Tim’s only mistake for the season saw the ball role painfully slow over the line (NOTE: it didn’t even reach the back of the net). After a cracking game with some brilliant saves, this would be Tim’s legacy for the day.
The game ended with AC buoyant in defeat as they keep their eye firmly on the achievable prize; the McRopod Cup.
AC Malvern 0 - 1 Old Xav's
Best in show: Entire team
WAG's player of the match: Entire team
Note: This was the first game we didn't see the Jesus arm salute - well done Pricey
Jun 2, 2011
The loss of another for the season
MEDIA RELEASE:AC Malvern medics today announced that the injury to Sparky Coulter is worse than first thought.
Sparky appears to have suffered the same injury that cost David Beckham a spot in the England World Cup squad, the dreaded torn Achilles.
“I picked it up in the farcical game against Old Melbournain’s and just can’t seem to shake it.” said a disillusioned Coulter to the awaiting media. Chief Medic, Dr Nick was a bit clearer saying “he’s been getting injections of his own blood to heal the mild tear in the area, but the excess of Newcastle Brown in the blood is slowing the process of repair.”
Mark will be out for the remained of the season, but is expected to be back for season 2012. A replacement for his spot is being sourced.
Mark will be out for the remained of the season, but is expected to be back for season 2012. A replacement for his spot is being sourced.
May 31, 2011
Housewives of the OC cleaned up
Joyous scenes as AC Malvern managed to snare their first victory after a come from behind 2-1 victory over Old Camberwell on Sunday.
The boys from Malvern were yet to get within two goals of Old Camberwell in their previous meetings, only scoring twice, and would therefore go into the battle for last spot as clear underdogs.
As always at Deepdene Reserve the centre of the pitch was in an appalling state resembling a tar pit more than a football pitch. This would prove to be an added challenge on judgement when moving the ball forward.
Kick off was interesting with the ball moving a metre then stopping dead in the muck. After a quick adjustment the game rolled on and it wasn’t long before AC was on the back foot.
Five minutes in and the Real Housewives of OC had a corner. A beautifully struck kick found the head of the lanky number 8 who was unmarked and an equally beautiful finish found the ball in the back of the net. It’s been a long time since Malvern have scored the first goal in a game. On this occasion falling behind so early could’ve been a massive dent in their pride.
No to be deterred by the deficit the boys from Malvern had a sense of belief and attacked the ball with great venom. The game was shaping as a shoot out with end to end stuff testing the lung capacity of many, although not VO2 Max Pete.
Jay and Pete were immense, almost as happy as pigs in shit in the middle of the park as they controlled proceedings. The Real Housewives weren’t too interested in getting dirty which allowed for plenty of space to create attacks. The revelation of season 2011, Mr Jones, was on fire on the right wing. His work off the ball was as impressive as his work on the ball which was frustrating the OC.
The Housewives did have their fair share of pushes forward, but the pairing of Owen and DeBartolo stood strong and were ably assisted by their right and left lieutenants. An intense battle would break for tea with OC up 1-0.
Tweets a plenty and word was spreading through the social networks of the quality of the battle which saw the crowd grow by 150 percent during the break.
AC didn’t disappoint the building crowd which included new converts in the Ashman’s (Bill and Steve) as they continued the attacks on a slowly folding OC. Would anything materialise? Why would today be any different?
The difference today was awareness. AC finally knew where their players were. Beautiful long balls switching wings had the Housewives confused and bemused. They had not seen such quality since the night before when Barcelona tore apart the Man Spew defence. OC defenders could be heard explaining the events “I went this way, he went that way and the ball, well the ball went over there”. AC had employed the Messi effect and a goal was surely coming.
Despite all the ‘beautiful football’ the first goal came as a result of a calamitous error by the goalie that would have made David James look good. In the end newbie T-Unitt tapped it in to draw the game level and have him at two goals from two games. “I was almost embarrassed to tap it in it was that easy. Even Pricey would have scored it despite his Toblerone boot” said Terry after the game.
Persistent attacks followed as the crowd couldn’t contain their excitement anymore. The noise spurred the red and black juggernaut into full flight as they sensed the kill of their weakening opponent. With time came chances, each getting closer by the minute.
Finally a brilliant piece of work that started from right back and connected no less than six players finished with Jay smashing the ball into the back off the net from distance. The crowd erupted and
Jay ran the fifty metres to the bench to celebrate in a euphoric scene. A 2-1 lead with fifteen minutes to play....squeaky bum time as one person put it.
The lead only spurred the boys on, fashioning many chances which fell short on result. As time ticked on the score remained at 2-1. With 30 seconds to go OC had their last chance with a header flicked on, but Tim was up to the task saving the ball and the game.
This was a fantastic result for the team after a season of torment. Next week the lads line up against table topping and in form Ol Xav’s which will be a much greater task, but I’m sure they’re up to it.
AC Malvern 2 - 1 Old Housewives of Camberwell
Unitt, Byrne
Best in show: Dave & Daniel (tied)
WAG's player of the match: Steve
Ashman & Son award: Steve
Big Bad Basil's the Bullmastiff's best in show: The Chihuahua over the fence
Most likely to lose their arms outside a window of a train: Pricey (keep the Jesus arms down boy)
The boys from Malvern were yet to get within two goals of Old Camberwell in their previous meetings, only scoring twice, and would therefore go into the battle for last spot as clear underdogs.
As always at Deepdene Reserve the centre of the pitch was in an appalling state resembling a tar pit more than a football pitch. This would prove to be an added challenge on judgement when moving the ball forward.
Kick off was interesting with the ball moving a metre then stopping dead in the muck. After a quick adjustment the game rolled on and it wasn’t long before AC was on the back foot.
Five minutes in and the Real Housewives of OC had a corner. A beautifully struck kick found the head of the lanky number 8 who was unmarked and an equally beautiful finish found the ball in the back of the net. It’s been a long time since Malvern have scored the first goal in a game. On this occasion falling behind so early could’ve been a massive dent in their pride.
No to be deterred by the deficit the boys from Malvern had a sense of belief and attacked the ball with great venom. The game was shaping as a shoot out with end to end stuff testing the lung capacity of many, although not VO2 Max Pete.
Jay and Pete were immense, almost as happy as pigs in shit in the middle of the park as they controlled proceedings. The Real Housewives weren’t too interested in getting dirty which allowed for plenty of space to create attacks. The revelation of season 2011, Mr Jones, was on fire on the right wing. His work off the ball was as impressive as his work on the ball which was frustrating the OC.
The Housewives did have their fair share of pushes forward, but the pairing of Owen and DeBartolo stood strong and were ably assisted by their right and left lieutenants. An intense battle would break for tea with OC up 1-0.
Tweets a plenty and word was spreading through the social networks of the quality of the battle which saw the crowd grow by 150 percent during the break.
AC didn’t disappoint the building crowd which included new converts in the Ashman’s (Bill and Steve) as they continued the attacks on a slowly folding OC. Would anything materialise? Why would today be any different?
The difference today was awareness. AC finally knew where their players were. Beautiful long balls switching wings had the Housewives confused and bemused. They had not seen such quality since the night before when Barcelona tore apart the Man Spew defence. OC defenders could be heard explaining the events “I went this way, he went that way and the ball, well the ball went over there”. AC had employed the Messi effect and a goal was surely coming.
Despite all the ‘beautiful football’ the first goal came as a result of a calamitous error by the goalie that would have made David James look good. In the end newbie T-Unitt tapped it in to draw the game level and have him at two goals from two games. “I was almost embarrassed to tap it in it was that easy. Even Pricey would have scored it despite his Toblerone boot” said Terry after the game.
Persistent attacks followed as the crowd couldn’t contain their excitement anymore. The noise spurred the red and black juggernaut into full flight as they sensed the kill of their weakening opponent. With time came chances, each getting closer by the minute.
Finally a brilliant piece of work that started from right back and connected no less than six players finished with Jay smashing the ball into the back off the net from distance. The crowd erupted and
Jay ran the fifty metres to the bench to celebrate in a euphoric scene. A 2-1 lead with fifteen minutes to play....squeaky bum time as one person put it.
The lead only spurred the boys on, fashioning many chances which fell short on result. As time ticked on the score remained at 2-1. With 30 seconds to go OC had their last chance with a header flicked on, but Tim was up to the task saving the ball and the game.
This was a fantastic result for the team after a season of torment. Next week the lads line up against table topping and in form Ol Xav’s which will be a much greater task, but I’m sure they’re up to it.
AC Malvern 2 - 1 Old Housewives of Camberwell
Unitt, Byrne
Best in show: Dave & Daniel (tied)
WAG's player of the match: Steve
Ashman & Son award: Steve
Big Bad Basil's the Bullmastiff's best in show: The Chihuahua over the fence
Most likely to lose their arms outside a window of a train: Pricey (keep the Jesus arms down boy)
May 23, 2011
He's big and red.....watch him!
A hard fought battle at the Stadium of Shite ended in a 2-1 victory to Old Melbournians on Sunday. Despite a gallant effort and a dominating display for most of the match, AC couldn’t get across the line.
The dressing room pre-match was brimming with excitement on the back of last week performance. An unlucky 3-1 loss against the table topping Bayside gave the boys a glimmer of hope against the mid table OM’s.
The game started with AC building on their performance from the prior week. Passes were being strung together and control was maintained in the midfield. A shift of Pete into a central role with Jay and Dave slotting into centre back with Rich Owen was proving to be a very strong spine.
The capacity crowd watched on as an impressive performance was put on by the red and black (more impressive than so far this season anyway). Jones, playing on the left, was the architect of many of the first half attacks as he pinballed passes with teammates as he made his way down the wing. Unfortunately for AC they were unable to get on the end of the crosses. So no goal resulted.
Captain Cresswell, taking a leaf out of Jay’s book led by example dropping back to help the midfield maintain the ball and create chances with Jones and Tucker. AC would only manage to get one shot on target for the half which was saved.
Despite the positive efforts AC still couldn’t break the duck in the first half. Fortunately, through a brilliant defensive effort by the Fantastic Four saw OM’s hit the sheds without a real scoring opportunity.
The buzz of electricity in the rooms was amazing. Finally for the first time this season a sense of belief existed. Coach Dennis had two instructions before the second stanza; “keep doing what you’re doing” and “watch out for bid red on our left side”.
A slight reshuffle of the structure had new signing ‘the Unitt’ playing on the right and after dusting off the early cobwebs was showing some good signs.
AC was physically dominant winning the 50/50’s and looking like it was only a matter of time before they’d score. This would change when Big Red stepped up on our left – as predicted. The solid red nut was allowed to play five minutes of football and in those five minutes the score was 2-0.A momentary lapse can be costly in this game, and this was a prime example.
AC bounced back with Pinkney smacking the wind out of someone half his age and Colin continuing his dominant form this season despite what initially looked and sounded like a broken leg in a late tackle.
The next was either through luck or good planning, but Dennis shifted the Unitt up front and the benefit followed as Terry took on the defence and slotted home his first goal for the club.
AC had OM’s on the back foot and continued pressing for an equaliser. Some were a little over zealous as Stu attracted the wrath of the opposition, the ref and of course the coaching staff. The coaching panel were later overheard contemplating marking line down the wing for Stu to stay in not unlike the doubles line on a tennis court.
Unfortunately the game ended with OM’s one goal to the good, but once again a major step forward for the clubs performance. The lesson from today’s game is watch out for Big Red!
AC Malvern 1-2 Old Melbournians
Unitt
Best in show: Colin Brien
WAG's player of the match:Daniel Jones
Most in need of a straight line: Stu Fleming
(prize - a signed copy of Johnny Cash's Walk the line)
The dressing room pre-match was brimming with excitement on the back of last week performance. An unlucky 3-1 loss against the table topping Bayside gave the boys a glimmer of hope against the mid table OM’s.
The game started with AC building on their performance from the prior week. Passes were being strung together and control was maintained in the midfield. A shift of Pete into a central role with Jay and Dave slotting into centre back with Rich Owen was proving to be a very strong spine.
The capacity crowd watched on as an impressive performance was put on by the red and black (more impressive than so far this season anyway). Jones, playing on the left, was the architect of many of the first half attacks as he pinballed passes with teammates as he made his way down the wing. Unfortunately for AC they were unable to get on the end of the crosses. So no goal resulted.
Captain Cresswell, taking a leaf out of Jay’s book led by example dropping back to help the midfield maintain the ball and create chances with Jones and Tucker. AC would only manage to get one shot on target for the half which was saved.
Despite the positive efforts AC still couldn’t break the duck in the first half. Fortunately, through a brilliant defensive effort by the Fantastic Four saw OM’s hit the sheds without a real scoring opportunity.
The buzz of electricity in the rooms was amazing. Finally for the first time this season a sense of belief existed. Coach Dennis had two instructions before the second stanza; “keep doing what you’re doing” and “watch out for bid red on our left side”.
A slight reshuffle of the structure had new signing ‘the Unitt’ playing on the right and after dusting off the early cobwebs was showing some good signs.
AC was physically dominant winning the 50/50’s and looking like it was only a matter of time before they’d score. This would change when Big Red stepped up on our left – as predicted. The solid red nut was allowed to play five minutes of football and in those five minutes the score was 2-0.A momentary lapse can be costly in this game, and this was a prime example.
AC bounced back with Pinkney smacking the wind out of someone half his age and Colin continuing his dominant form this season despite what initially looked and sounded like a broken leg in a late tackle.
The next was either through luck or good planning, but Dennis shifted the Unitt up front and the benefit followed as Terry took on the defence and slotted home his first goal for the club.
AC had OM’s on the back foot and continued pressing for an equaliser. Some were a little over zealous as Stu attracted the wrath of the opposition, the ref and of course the coaching staff. The coaching panel were later overheard contemplating marking line down the wing for Stu to stay in not unlike the doubles line on a tennis court.
Unfortunately the game ended with OM’s one goal to the good, but once again a major step forward for the clubs performance. The lesson from today’s game is watch out for Big Red!
AC Malvern 1-2 Old Melbournians
Unitt
Best in show: Colin Brien
WAG's player of the match:Daniel Jones
Most in need of a straight line: Stu Fleming
(prize - a signed copy of Johnny Cash's Walk the line)
May 20, 2011
When a loss is still a win
The dark clouds of weeks gone by were looming, but thankfully failed to arrive. Despite the dry weather AC yielded to the stronger and numerically superior Bayside team, going down 3-1 in the end.
A skeleton squad was hastily pulled together as it seems the Ex-pat footballers Union deemed this would be a bye weekend for many of AC’s footballers. Missing seven players from the line up the Malvernites were heavily reliant on ring-ins to ‘fill the void’. All was going well until the night before when a couple pulled out.
Eleven fine men were left (with Dave’s dad on standby) to take the field for battle. In the face of adversity true men stand up – and today was no exception.
From the off there was a steely resolve to the boys in red and black. Brilliantly led by the stand in keeper Jay; the lads ran their guts out and staunchly defended their goals. A switch to centre back for Dave seemed to create extra stability and with Damo and Adam having the games of their life things were looking good.
Pete and Engel were on top of Bayside in the midfield and playing tantalising through balls to Stu and Garriet, but they just couldn’t break through despite some great efforts and running.
Disaster struck at the 19th minute mark when a freak goal came from a lob from outside the box off the boot of number eight. Jay was unlucky to see this sail past him as I’m sure even Pepe Reina wouldn’t have stopped this one. Unfortunately for AC, soon after a second equally freakish lob from the same man would sail into the back of the net and have them two nil up. We were later to find out that he does this at least five times a year.
For the first time this season AC showed some fight, a positive attitude and they were united in a quest to come back instead of dropping their bundle.
Attacks began from the back with Rich and Dave and Pete was on fire winning the ball with ease. Eventually AC won a corner and the old duo of Engel and Owen combined with Owen heading home his first for the season.
The panic button was hit and Bayside were worried. An arm wrestle ensued with neither team gaining the ascendancy until late in the piece. A leg weary AC left a gap on the right which Bayside took advantage of, slotting home the games last goal past a hapless Jones who had just stepped into goals.
The score line might not be pretty; however this was truly the first competitive game for the season where AC had a chance without the freakish goals. A lot of positives today – let’s hope they roll into next week.
AV Malvern 1-3 Bayside
Owen
Best in show: Pete Phillips
WAGs player of the match: Damo Buellens
Best lead role in a mini series: Jason Byrne
A skeleton squad was hastily pulled together as it seems the Ex-pat footballers Union deemed this would be a bye weekend for many of AC’s footballers. Missing seven players from the line up the Malvernites were heavily reliant on ring-ins to ‘fill the void’. All was going well until the night before when a couple pulled out.
Eleven fine men were left (with Dave’s dad on standby) to take the field for battle. In the face of adversity true men stand up – and today was no exception.
From the off there was a steely resolve to the boys in red and black. Brilliantly led by the stand in keeper Jay; the lads ran their guts out and staunchly defended their goals. A switch to centre back for Dave seemed to create extra stability and with Damo and Adam having the games of their life things were looking good.
Pete and Engel were on top of Bayside in the midfield and playing tantalising through balls to Stu and Garriet, but they just couldn’t break through despite some great efforts and running.
Disaster struck at the 19th minute mark when a freak goal came from a lob from outside the box off the boot of number eight. Jay was unlucky to see this sail past him as I’m sure even Pepe Reina wouldn’t have stopped this one. Unfortunately for AC, soon after a second equally freakish lob from the same man would sail into the back of the net and have them two nil up. We were later to find out that he does this at least five times a year.
For the first time this season AC showed some fight, a positive attitude and they were united in a quest to come back instead of dropping their bundle.
Attacks began from the back with Rich and Dave and Pete was on fire winning the ball with ease. Eventually AC won a corner and the old duo of Engel and Owen combined with Owen heading home his first for the season.
The panic button was hit and Bayside were worried. An arm wrestle ensued with neither team gaining the ascendancy until late in the piece. A leg weary AC left a gap on the right which Bayside took advantage of, slotting home the games last goal past a hapless Jones who had just stepped into goals.
The score line might not be pretty; however this was truly the first competitive game for the season where AC had a chance without the freakish goals. A lot of positives today – let’s hope they roll into next week.
AV Malvern 1-3 Bayside
Owen
Best in show: Pete Phillips
WAGs player of the match: Damo Buellens
Best lead role in a mini series: Jason Byrne
May 12, 2011
Thunder....it really is frightening.
The dark clouds remained from last week, but this time they brought with them an almighty Thunder from Dandenong who flooded the AC net, taking the points with a comprehansive 7-1 victory.
The day began with torrential rain just as the players arrived at the Stadium of Shite with vision reduced significantly; it didnt get much better from there.
Taking to the water soaked pitch the lads from AC were hoping that the rain would be the great leveler; however it wasn't long before they realised that this would not be the case. The slick moving Thunder controlled the game with ease string together pass after pass as a bemused AC watched on.
Some great work from Colin at the back and Tim in goals managed to keep the ball out of the net, but then the first trickle before the flood came as a result of a penalty. A diving tackle in the box was mistimed by Damo who took down the attacker and the ref appropriately penalised.
One nil down and without a ray of sunshine on the horizon, things were looking glum very early on. As a pure spectator it was a privilege, despite being soaked to the core, to watch a midfield control and move the ball around the park with accuracy and skill. The lads from AC resembled training cones as Thunder did as they pleased before slotting home another.
With 20 minutes left in the half the sun poked it's head out for a fleeting second, but this was enough to inspire the boys in red and black as they started playing some football. Whether it was learning from the lesson Dandenong was teaching them or a reminder of what they applied in preseason training - it didn't matter. AC was now here to play and play they did.
Dandenong were on the back foot and now forced to defend attacking runs from last weeks goal scorer Jonesy and Pete which transferred into chances for Tucker and Cresswell. Things were happening and there was hope of turning around the deficit after Captain Cresswell put one in the back of the net after some great football from Jay and Dave and a lay off from Garriet.
After a superb sustained effort from AC the Thunder were able to sneak in a late goal on the counter attack just before the half time break.
A buoyant half time speech from coach Dennis included pearls of wisdom such as "we're still in this. If we play like the last 20 minutes there's no reason we cant get a draw"
What goes up must come down, or so Isacc Newton says, and AC came down with a thud. The second half was a procession for the Thunder as they managed to pile on four goals.
AC almost set up a guard of honour as the Thunder moved through the midfield and with most of the defenders having a nightmare day the resistance was left to two; Colin and Tim. Unfortunately, unlike Rambo, they were no match for a parading battalion of the Thunder Army and the scoreboard reflected so.
Yet another disappointing day for the red and black Malvernites where the simple things let them down. Poor or no passing, no second efforts or chasing back and even Pricey stopping to pull out the Jesus arms in the box whilst play continued cost AC today. The ref, taking pity on our souls, stopped in after the game to offer advice saying "you're not going to win games unless you can string passes together". Sage advice from a wise man, but the question remains can they put it into practise?
Can AC stop the bleeding? or will the time of death be an early call? Tune into next weeks episode to find out - same bat time, same bat channel.
AC Malvern 1 - 7 Gods of Thunder
Cresswell
Mannie's man of the match: Colin Brien
WAG's player of the match: Daniel Jones
Tit of the week: Pricey
The day began with torrential rain just as the players arrived at the Stadium of Shite with vision reduced significantly; it didnt get much better from there.
Taking to the water soaked pitch the lads from AC were hoping that the rain would be the great leveler; however it wasn't long before they realised that this would not be the case. The slick moving Thunder controlled the game with ease string together pass after pass as a bemused AC watched on.
Some great work from Colin at the back and Tim in goals managed to keep the ball out of the net, but then the first trickle before the flood came as a result of a penalty. A diving tackle in the box was mistimed by Damo who took down the attacker and the ref appropriately penalised.
One nil down and without a ray of sunshine on the horizon, things were looking glum very early on. As a pure spectator it was a privilege, despite being soaked to the core, to watch a midfield control and move the ball around the park with accuracy and skill. The lads from AC resembled training cones as Thunder did as they pleased before slotting home another.
With 20 minutes left in the half the sun poked it's head out for a fleeting second, but this was enough to inspire the boys in red and black as they started playing some football. Whether it was learning from the lesson Dandenong was teaching them or a reminder of what they applied in preseason training - it didn't matter. AC was now here to play and play they did.
Dandenong were on the back foot and now forced to defend attacking runs from last weeks goal scorer Jonesy and Pete which transferred into chances for Tucker and Cresswell. Things were happening and there was hope of turning around the deficit after Captain Cresswell put one in the back of the net after some great football from Jay and Dave and a lay off from Garriet.
After a superb sustained effort from AC the Thunder were able to sneak in a late goal on the counter attack just before the half time break.
A buoyant half time speech from coach Dennis included pearls of wisdom such as "we're still in this. If we play like the last 20 minutes there's no reason we cant get a draw"
What goes up must come down, or so Isacc Newton says, and AC came down with a thud. The second half was a procession for the Thunder as they managed to pile on four goals.
AC almost set up a guard of honour as the Thunder moved through the midfield and with most of the defenders having a nightmare day the resistance was left to two; Colin and Tim. Unfortunately, unlike Rambo, they were no match for a parading battalion of the Thunder Army and the scoreboard reflected so.
Yet another disappointing day for the red and black Malvernites where the simple things let them down. Poor or no passing, no second efforts or chasing back and even Pricey stopping to pull out the Jesus arms in the box whilst play continued cost AC today. The ref, taking pity on our souls, stopped in after the game to offer advice saying "you're not going to win games unless you can string passes together". Sage advice from a wise man, but the question remains can they put it into practise?
Can AC stop the bleeding? or will the time of death be an early call? Tune into next weeks episode to find out - same bat time, same bat channel.
AC Malvern 1 - 7 Gods of Thunder
Cresswell
Mannie's man of the match: Colin Brien
WAG's player of the match: Daniel Jones
Tit of the week: Pricey
May 2, 2011
Ouch, crack and then a mighty wack!
Dark clouds gathered over Fawkner Park as AC Malvern were taught a footballing lesson; going down 8-1 to a ruthless South Yarra.
The day should have started full of promise with what was arguable the strongest line up available for the season launch. The mood was otherwise, as the shock announcement of Dennis' forced retirement reverberated through out the dressing room.
Preseason was over and a moderate amount of work had been done. So it was now time to focus on the task at hand, beating South Yarra. Incidentally, AC have not won at this venue for as long as records have been kept.
The game started with both teams observing a minutes silence in a moving tribute to the passing of South Yarra's President during the week.
The whistle went and every fibre of muscle in the AC machine was kicked into action. Early going was tough with both sides feeling out each other. (Not in a Blue Light disco way - perverts!) SY looked like a team who hadn't played much football as a cohesive unit, but their class was evident. It wasn't long before they all stopped ball chasing, got some structure and started piling the pressure on the AC defense.
Earth tremor:
Eight minutes in and the rampant Matthews called an end to his left wing runs and to the game. He hobbled off under the watchful eye of his fan club with ankle knack
EARTHQUAKE:
Measuring 9.5 on the Malvern scale, Eddie came crashing down minutes after Marty left the field. The crack of his knee could be heard across the park and the red and black hearts sank as this would signal the end of second AC Malvern career in a week. Fortunately we were playing outside the front doors of the Alfred and Eddie was able to be airlifted as the game continued. (The medical summary was a fracture which includes a ruptured cruciate)
Within minutes of this devastating double blow Tim found himself picking the ball out of the back of the net, a task he would get used to as the game went on.
A shining light in an otherwise gloomy day was the introduction of Joe Valentine. His pace upfront and awareness started to create all sorts of problems with SY sending three players to mark him. This opened a gap on the left for Jones to slide by defenders and net his first goal for the club; 1-1.
The yarra boys then decided enough was enough and they put the pressure on like the Bombers did to the Gold Coast Suns later in the day. Goal after goal as a helpless Tim was exposed by defensive lapses and they went into the break with a comfortable 4-1 lead.
The second half was no picnic with no reprieve from the pressure. Statisticians were amazed as AC time in possession elapsed to 4min 52secs of the 45min. In the end South Yarra were treating AC as their little brother sucking them in before delivering the killer blow; in this case goals. AC were fortunate to have Tim between the sticks as it could have been a more embarrassing scoreline, if possible.
The game done and a collection of disbelief and thanks that it was over summed up the group as they marched off to the change rooms.
This weeks (virtual) training will surely include focusing on keeping possession and not panicking.
AC Malvern 1 - 8 South Yarra
Jones
Best in show: Tim Nolan
WAGS player of the match: Joe Valentine
The day should have started full of promise with what was arguable the strongest line up available for the season launch. The mood was otherwise, as the shock announcement of Dennis' forced retirement reverberated through out the dressing room.
Preseason was over and a moderate amount of work had been done. So it was now time to focus on the task at hand, beating South Yarra. Incidentally, AC have not won at this venue for as long as records have been kept.
The game started with both teams observing a minutes silence in a moving tribute to the passing of South Yarra's President during the week.
The whistle went and every fibre of muscle in the AC machine was kicked into action. Early going was tough with both sides feeling out each other. (Not in a Blue Light disco way - perverts!) SY looked like a team who hadn't played much football as a cohesive unit, but their class was evident. It wasn't long before they all stopped ball chasing, got some structure and started piling the pressure on the AC defense.
Earth tremor:
Eight minutes in and the rampant Matthews called an end to his left wing runs and to the game. He hobbled off under the watchful eye of his fan club with ankle knack
EARTHQUAKE:
Measuring 9.5 on the Malvern scale, Eddie came crashing down minutes after Marty left the field. The crack of his knee could be heard across the park and the red and black hearts sank as this would signal the end of second AC Malvern career in a week. Fortunately we were playing outside the front doors of the Alfred and Eddie was able to be airlifted as the game continued. (The medical summary was a fracture which includes a ruptured cruciate)
Within minutes of this devastating double blow Tim found himself picking the ball out of the back of the net, a task he would get used to as the game went on.
A shining light in an otherwise gloomy day was the introduction of Joe Valentine. His pace upfront and awareness started to create all sorts of problems with SY sending three players to mark him. This opened a gap on the left for Jones to slide by defenders and net his first goal for the club; 1-1.
The yarra boys then decided enough was enough and they put the pressure on like the Bombers did to the Gold Coast Suns later in the day. Goal after goal as a helpless Tim was exposed by defensive lapses and they went into the break with a comfortable 4-1 lead.
The second half was no picnic with no reprieve from the pressure. Statisticians were amazed as AC time in possession elapsed to 4min 52secs of the 45min. In the end South Yarra were treating AC as their little brother sucking them in before delivering the killer blow; in this case goals. AC were fortunate to have Tim between the sticks as it could have been a more embarrassing scoreline, if possible.
The game done and a collection of disbelief and thanks that it was over summed up the group as they marched off to the change rooms.
This weeks (virtual) training will surely include focusing on keeping possession and not panicking.
AC Malvern 1 - 8 South Yarra
Jones
Best in show: Tim Nolan
WAGS player of the match: Joe Valentine
Apr 18, 2011
Friendly finale
A glorious day and an unprecedented quality surface at the Stadium of Shite greeted the two teams in the final warm up match of the 2011 pre-season. Although the result wasn’t the focus, Central Park Rangers managed to get their noses in front with a fourth quarter (yep we played in quarters) goal from their answer to Freddie Ljunberg; Lars. The potential of lining up with depleted stock forced AC to go to the vaults and recall club legends Engel and Brendan into the line up. Their class and passion for the club would be immediately evident. There are good days and bad days and for some reason the lads from AC struggled to find their rhythm early on. The midfield was dominated by the equally aging Rangers as they dictated play and fashioned a few early chances. Slowly AC woke up and started to get into the game, but couldn’t get past the impenetrable force that was the Rangers back four. Frustration started to mount and the game plan reverted to AC circa 2010 with long balls to no one in particular which proved fruitless and would return just as quick. A half time chat from the coaching panel seemed to pay dividends. The lads put training into practise with short sharp passes to each other. Momentum built and a couple of scoring opportunities presented with Garriet almost scoring his first in red and black. 
The third quarter, the premiership quarter in AFL, was telling. AC’s fitness was allowing them to wrestle back control. Chances however were still few and far between as the Rangers defence stood strong. The fizz went out of the game in the fourth quarter as the heat started to takes its toll. Rangers took advantage and started peppering the goals at will, eventually scoring with a tap in at the back post. The score line could have been as ugly as Carlos Tevez (pictured) or the formatting of this post if it weren’t for a man of the match performance by shot stopper Tim Nolan. The pretend stuff is now over and it’s time for the real deal. The lads have a week off to rest and get rid of niggling injuries before lining up South Yarra at Fawkner park in round one. AC Malvern 0 – 1 Rangers
The third quarter, the premiership quarter in AFL, was telling. AC’s fitness was allowing them to wrestle back control. Chances however were still few and far between as the Rangers defence stood strong. The fizz went out of the game in the fourth quarter as the heat started to takes its toll. Rangers took advantage and started peppering the goals at will, eventually scoring with a tap in at the back post. The score line could have been as ugly as Carlos Tevez (pictured) or the formatting of this post if it weren’t for a man of the match performance by shot stopper Tim Nolan. The pretend stuff is now over and it’s time for the real deal. The lads have a week off to rest and get rid of niggling injuries before lining up South Yarra at Fawkner park in round one. AC Malvern 0 – 1 Rangers
Apr 4, 2011
Bi-polar football experience
An hour's extra sleep (or two hours if you're Adam), cooler weather and a full squad already makes this a better start to the day. The venue was once again the State Football Centre thanks to a late scramble and negotiations with the FFV by Dennis. All because of unscheduled council works at the home of today's enemy; Moreland City.Moreland is a familiar pre-season opponent for the lads of AC, although this year the plucky lads from Moreland sit in a higher division. Sarah, flying solo WAG at the start of the match was so excited about this fixture she couldn't get her magazine the right way around.
Danny DeVito, I mean Coach Coulter was in charge today, mandating a change in formation to a more traditional 4-4-2. "These lads are canny, but they cant run for shite" he said in his pre-match conference.
The first half began with much the same vigour as last week. The Malvernites were playing "joga bonito" (the beautiful game), but managing to keep up sustained efforts like they were filled with metaphoric Viagra.
The salivating crowd was seduced, enthralled and finally reached climax as a stunning piece of work found Marty with the ball. He dropped his head and launched his boot ball-ward curling it into the back of the net; 1-0.
Steady Eddie was resolute controlling the play from the back. Shining more so under the watchful eye of debutant WAG (his finacee). Debutant Garriet made plenty of runs to goal without result (unless you count kicks to the shin) and the midfield were sublime with gems passed forward. Coach Coulter was looking forward to being carried off and being drenched in Champers or Gatorade.
The excitement was all a little premature and hit of nasal spray a the half may have been wise. AC dropped their collective bundle, forgetting everything learned at training and the higher placed and fitter Moreland started to get on top. As an onlooker it's always easy to see when a team is getting on top of AC. It's when all you can hear is players yelling at each other; blaming like a moody teen rather than encouraging. What follows AC's cannibalistic rants is usually a goal........Moreland had read the script and slotted an equaliser.
The rest of the half was a scramble to catch a breath between yelling at team mates and chasing opponents. Malvern received a lucky break after a not so lucky tackle from Brien resulted in the ref, Dennis (yep against his own team) awarding a penalty. Steve's nemesis, the mouthy #15 who was dressed like he was heading to the Antarctic in head to toe skins stepped up for the kick, but fired far right missing everything. Steve let him know his thoughts.
A sigh of relief at the miss, but more so at end of the game.
Once again some good signs with a great half of football, coaching brilliance and some promising debuts. The season is now only weeks away and AC is eagerly awating the draw released on 17th April.
AC Malvern 1 - 1 Moreland City
Matthews
Mar 31, 2011
Mar 22, 2011
In the heat of the moment.......wilt!
After a sub-par summer with unprecedented rainfall; it was only fitting that on the day of our fist match temperatures would reach 30 degrees and create an environment akin to Doha for the recent Asian Cup.Not to be disheartened the boys had a positive attitude and were determined to show Hendy why he should have stayed in the black and red as he lined up for the opposition.
“It’s not about the result today lads, it’s about the way we play” said Dennis in his pre-match address. This was to be very prophetic given that AC weren’t at full strength with; a missing goalie, a suspect Coulter and Steve dicing on the edge of pneumonia during the week.
Under the watchful eye of the WAG’s and with sunscreen applied the first ball was kicked in anger. Early match form was promising with AC managing to play some of the best football seen at the club to date. The passing and movement was straight from the training field.
Ol’ Melba’s, who are in the lofty heights of division two, managed to sneak a goal in at the 26 minute mark, but unlike AC of old they were able to respond within two minutes when Fleming slotted home the first for the season. The defence stood resolute for the remainder of the half.
Ol Melba’s were able to rotate players at will with a spare team on the bench awaiting their chance to impress Coach Nelson. The heat and the weight of numbers started to take its toll on the boys in red and black despite some big efforts by all. You can only physically do so much in these conditions and up against two teams. Mid way through the second half OM’s managed to start piling on the goals and the result was then never in doubt.
The match was a good hit out despite both teams losing a player each to potential long term injuries. The positive is Coulter will now take on the coaching role for the next game against Moreland.
AC Malvern 1 – Ol Melbournain Elite Squad scorers still counting
Fleming
Mar 7, 2011
PRESS RELEASE - 7/3/11
EDDIE THE EAGLE HAS FLOWN THE COOP
AC Malvern today announced that it has agreed to terminate the recently sign contract of Eddie the Eagle.
Eddie regrets the decision, but has accepted an enticing contract elsewhere in Australia where he will teach kids to terrorise strikers as an imposing centre back.
Club officials said “Ed has provided a great spark during the training session. We will miss his already
imposing aerial presence during season 2011, but wish him the best on his new venture.”
Eddie now holds the record for the shortest playing contract with the club at two weeks.
Recruitment to fill the remaining positions in the squad continues via Gumtree
-End of message -
AC Malvern today announced that it has agreed to terminate the recently sign contract of Eddie the Eagle.
Eddie regrets the decision, but has accepted an enticing contract elsewhere in Australia where he will teach kids to terrorise strikers as an imposing centre back.
Club officials said “Ed has provided a great spark during the training session. We will miss his already
imposing aerial presence during season 2011, but wish him the best on his new venture.”
Eddie now holds the record for the shortest playing contract with the club at two weeks.
Recruitment to fill the remaining positions in the squad continues via Gumtree
-End of message -
Feb 28, 2011
Tis the season to be.........prepared!
Relegation hurts, there’s no question about it and after a dismal 2010 the lads from AC were happy see the back of 2010 and greet the dawning of 2011. A new year brings about an opportunity to forget the past, and write a new chapter in the history of AC Malvern.
A new chapter is certainly what we would see. The summer months are usually a time for relaxing the belts to a looser hole after devouring copious amounts of food and booze during the festive season. There are music festivals to be enjoyed, beer gardens to be occupied for hours on end and ladies to be met. As I said this is the usual format for this time of year; 2011 however was a different beast all toether.
The brains trust at AC decided that a little summer kick about would be a good idea to dust off the cobwebs, but they didn’t think it would get the momentum that it has. What developed is a full blown pre season training schedule thanks to Coach Dennis and his right hand man; Sparky. A modest Dennis said ” I had a vision, a vision for redemption and though if I build it and they will come” so every Wednesday on the Field of Dreams the lads from AC gather to be put through their paces.
Gone are the fat rolls (well not for all) and we welcome the super fit six pack carrying athletes. Maybe not that far, but at least everyone will be able to fit into their shorts by round one this year. Will we see the benefits in season 2011 – only time will tell.
Gone are the fat rolls (well not for all) and we welcome the super fit six pack carrying athletes. Maybe not that far, but at least everyone will be able to fit into their shorts by round one this year. Will we see the benefits in season 2011 – only time will tell.
The departure of Hendy (last time he’ll be mentioned on this blog) and a couple of retirements left the list of the aging elite depleted; especially up front. So a recruitment campaign akin to the US Army’s Uncle Sam’s “I want you” back in 1917 was adopted; although AC opted for a more fitting approach for the modern times – an ad on Gumtree.
Responses came in thick and fast and the calibre of athletes was unquestioned as they ran through their paces during the early sessions. Word continued to travel on the grape vine and numbers swelled to the point of an embarrassment of riches and a conundrum for the selection committee. I’m not so good at maths, but with three spots available on the list and six on the short list, I’m sure that leaves a remainder.
Commitment, passion and respect, not to mention football ability were tested and the committee quickly swooped to sign two new players for the squad. Contracts negotiations were a drawn out process due to the player‘s manager, Ricky Nixon being tied up on a scouting mission at a local high school. Finally all were able to agree to terms and now Eddie the Eagle and Daniel are officially part of AC’s finest.
Four sessions into pre-season and things are on the up. No need for fat camp for the boys and the skills are closer to silky than they’ve ever been. Captain Cresswell, WAGS player of the year has had his pass only to Hendy (last time I promise) blinkers surgically removed ensuring that AC’s one dimensional football is a thing of the past – we hope.
The focus now shifts to preparing for the upcoming friendlies with old foe; Ol’ Melbournians and Moreland confirmed and one other in the pipeline. The lads from AC will be either uber prepared come round one, or knackered and unable to make it through the 18 rounds. So get on board for season 2011 and watch this space.
Responses came in thick and fast and the calibre of athletes was unquestioned as they ran through their paces during the early sessions. Word continued to travel on the grape vine and numbers swelled to the point of an embarrassment of riches and a conundrum for the selection committee. I’m not so good at maths, but with three spots available on the list and six on the short list, I’m sure that leaves a remainder.
Commitment, passion and respect, not to mention football ability were tested and the committee quickly swooped to sign two new players for the squad. Contracts negotiations were a drawn out process due to the player‘s manager, Ricky Nixon being tied up on a scouting mission at a local high school. Finally all were able to agree to terms and now Eddie the Eagle and Daniel are officially part of AC’s finest.
Four sessions into pre-season and things are on the up. No need for fat camp for the boys and the skills are closer to silky than they’ve ever been. Captain Cresswell, WAGS player of the year has had his pass only to Hendy (last time I promise) blinkers surgically removed ensuring that AC’s one dimensional football is a thing of the past – we hope.
The focus now shifts to preparing for the upcoming friendlies with old foe; Ol’ Melbournians and Moreland confirmed and one other in the pipeline. The lads from AC will be either uber prepared come round one, or knackered and unable to make it through the 18 rounds. So get on board for season 2011 and watch this space.
Feb 23, 2011
What a difference a year makes....
Stadium, not so shite current day
Taken 20 February 2011
Stadium of Shite circa 2010
Taken 20 February 2010 (Source: nearmap.com)
Taken 20 February 2011
Stadium of Shite circa 2010
Taken 20 February 2010 (Source: nearmap.com)
Feb 10, 2011
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